New season, new Housewife, new taglines! The Real Housewives of New York City is making its triumphant return on Wednesday, April 6 and the season's new taglines are very tongue-in-cheek and self-aware, just the way we like the Big Apple ladies to be.
Joining Bethenny Frankel, Carole Radziwill, Dorinda Medley, Sonja Morgan and Countess Luann de Lesseps this year is newcomer Julianne "Jules" Wainstein. Without further ado, these are their new taglines, ranked from worst to best.
7. Julianne Wainstein: "A Jew and an Asian walk into a bar…then they had me!"
OK, we know very little about the newbie, but from the trailer do know she references her heritage A LOT. "She's Asian and Jewish, but you don't have to remember that ‘cause she'll tell you like two dozen times," Carole says of Jules in the trailer for season eight.
6. Sonja Morgan: "If being Sonja is so wrong, why does it feel so right?"
This makes sense given the attention her partying got last season and seems to get again this year.
5. Countess Luann de Lesseps: "If you can't be cool, you can't be with the Countess."
Remember when Luann said "Be cool…Don't be all, like, uncool"? Of course you do because it was amazing. But it's at the stage where, well, it's a little played out. Like when Ramona used "turtle time" in hers seasons after it happened.
4. Carole Radziwill: "I plan for the future, but live in the moment."
Get it? Because she thought her relationship with Adam would be a real thing, but they've been together for over a year.
3. Ramona Singer: "Like a fine wine, I just get better with time."
Ramona and pinot grigio are now synonymous with one another. This makes sense.
2. Bethenny Frankel: "If you can't handle the truth, you can't handle me."
Bethenny is known for telling it like it is—and then some.
1. Dorinda Medley: "Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, martinis are!"
Never forget Dorinda's vacation meltdown after one too many martinis. Her tagline could have also just been this amazing quote: "Don't back that s—t up and say I did, ‘cause I didn't!"
The Real Housewives of New York City premieres Wednesday, April 6 at 9 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)