Have you ever felt so weird yelling "Kiss! Kiss!" at the fictional portrayals of two real people?
The People v. O.J. Simpson did some serious stoking of the flames of our Marcia Clark/Christopher Darden shipping tonight as the two prosecutors continued to get closer. They hung out, they got a little drunk, and they spent way too long of a time staring into each other's eyes in a perpetual state of almost kissing.
And yes, that is what we chose to focus on amid the chaos that was the bloody glove fiasco.
Marcia (Sarah Paulson) and Darden's (Sterling K. Brown) blossoming non-romance hit a major road bump when it came to deciding what to do with the gloves found at the crime scene. The entire prosecution was just positive that the fact that Nicole had purchased two pairs of the very gloves found on the scene had given them their conviction, and Marcia didn't feel it necessary to risk everything by having Simpson (Cuba Gooding Jr.) try on the gloves in the courtroom.
Shapiro (John Travolta) agreed when it came to what the gloves meant for the prosecution, and it didn't help that O.J.'s defense team was kind of tearing itself apart. While Shapiro was showing off his support of the cops on camera in court, Cochran (Courtney B. Vance) was being lambasted thanks to his exes spilling his dirty secrets on national TV.
While all this was going on, Shapiro had sent Robert Kardashian (David Schwimmer) off to retrieve the bag that O.J. had him take to his house, fearing/hoping that it might contain more evidence, like perhaps the murder weapon.
While the bag ended up only containing clothes, Kardashian couldn't help but panic. The insane media coverage was getting to him, and to his kids. Apparently, little Rob was being bullied at school thanks to his dad's involvement with the case, and Kardashian was beginning to lose it.
Meanwhile, everyone was distracted by this crazy conspiracy theory that the cops had planted all the evidence to get O.J. arrested. Luckily for us and for Darden's friends at the bar, Marcia shut that theory down hard with a drunken, badass "what if" sequence.
Just before the trial with the gloves was supposed to start, Shapiro tried them on. When he saw how they didn't even fit him, he did what Darden wanted anyway and suggested that O.J. try the gloves on in front of the jury.
What followed was a brilliantly over-the-top sequence of trying on a pair of gloves.
"These gloves are too small," O.J. declared. "Too tight. Won't fit."
To us, it was so clear that this was all an act—especially considering that he was trying on the gloves over other gloves—but that apparently wasn't clear to any of the people whose opinion mattered. The gloves that didn't fit took on a sort of legendary status in the list of reasons the prosecution lost this case.
Tonight's episode ended with Darden sadly rewatching the glove show and calling Ron Goldman's family to apologize for what had happened, but assuring them that it's not all over yet. It makes it all the harder for us to watch knowing that it kind of was.
The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story airs Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on FX.
What did you think of tonight's episode? Sound off in the comments!