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John Stamos, Seth Meyers

Lloyd Bishop/NBC

Fuller House is not Shakespeare, OK?

So imagine John Stamos' surprise when TV critics treated it as such. The Full House follow-up premiered on Netflix Feb. 26 with 13 episodes, and though viewers seemed to love it, reviewers did not. Stamos—who serves as producer and reprises his role as Jesse Katsopolis—appeared on NBC's Late Night Thursday, where he opened up to host Seth Meyers about the backlash the revival series has received. Though he doesn't "have anything against" critics, Stamos said, "I was so nervous about doing this again, because it's so beloved, as you say, and I didn't want to disappoint people. I thought it turned out well and people seemed to like it. I read a couple nice reviews, but then there were these crazy [ones]...These these were so wacky, and they're real."

Meyers then read lines from several reviews, and Stamos asked him to identify the critic by name as he did. The Hollywood Reporter's Daniel Fienberg wrote, "It's doubtful that there will be a more painful 2016 TV episode than the Fuller House pilot." Stamos dismissed him, saying, "He was being mauled by a bear when he watched that." He urged Fienberg to give the show a second shot, saying, You'll love episode 2, Daniel! It's the pilot! I mean, how f--king rude, right?"

The Washington Post's Hank Stuever was even more scathing in his review of the series, starring Candace Cameron Bure, Jodie Sweetin and Andrea Barber. "There's a point where nostalgia becomes more like necrophilia, and Fuller House immediately crosses that line," he wrote.

"Do you know what necrophilia is?" Stamos asked the audience.

"It means you have sex with a dead body," Meyers said.

"Is necrophilia if you get screwed by a dead magazine?" Stamos joked.

Meyers' favorite critique came from A.V. Club's Joshua Alston, who wrote, "Netflix's Fuller House is like a porn parody without the porn." The host joked, "It's a nice turn of the phrase."

"No, it's not nice," Stamos said. In fact, he revealed that a real Fuller House porn parody is on the market. "It's really very specific with the catch phrases. I think there's a lawsuit. I binge watched that 40 times," he said. "You know how you're supposed to binge watch these things."

The final review came courtesy of The New York Times' James Poniewozik. "Fuller House begins as a sitcom family reunion," he said, noting the many guest stars. "It becomes a self-conscious, dated and maudlin reminder of the ceaseless march of time and your inevitable demise."

Have mercy, Poniewozik!

"James, it's Fuller House, not Room for God's sake!" Stamos said.

Stamos isn't taking the bad reviews to heart, though. "You know what? The fans loved the show and after five days...Netflix said, 'Let's do a second season,'" he explained, "so I thank the fans for that."

(E! and NBC are both members of the NBCUniversal family.)