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Zac Efron, High School Musical

It's a good day to be a Wildcat!

Disney Channel announced this afternoon that it's bringing back the greatest musical film franchise of all time, and immediately, our minds started racing.

Given that the new movie is designed to introduce us to the "new" Wildcats and their rivalry with the West High Knights, we knew it wouldn't be reasonable to expect a return of Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, or any of the other bright shiny faces from the original movies. Even so, we'll never stop dreaming that it's possible. 

Sure, Zac's really busy making movies about gross grandfathers and struggling DJs, and Vanessa is still riding high after slaying her peformance as Rizzo in Grease: Live, but they've got to have at least a moment to spare in the next couple of years, right? Right, is what we say. 

In fact, we've already figured out exactly how all the important cast members from the original movies should return. You're welcome, screenwriters! 

Zac Efron, High School Musical

Troy Bolton (Zac Efron) 

Our dream: Troy has taken a sabbatical from his illustrious career in showbiz (as Zac Efron) to coach the East High Wildcats back to their former glory (using song and dance, naturally). 

The probable reality: Troy is busy coaching kids' basketball near Stanford while trying to win Gabriella back, but they still have that creepily huge poster of him up in the hallway at East High, and we'll get to see it in the background.

Gabriella Montez (Vanessa Hudgens)

Our dream: She returns to East High to be honored after she receives a Nobel Prize, and while she's there she makes a guest appearance in the school musical (alongside her fiance, temporary basketball coach Troy). 

The probable reality: She's still hard at work on her multiple degrees at Stanford and has broken up with Troy because that's what happens in college, but a current East High student will find a video of her performing a slow, bluesy version of "Start of Something New" at an open mic and will aspire to be just like her.

High School Musical

Disney Channel/Netflix

Taylor McKessie (Monique Coleman)

Our dream: She's on her way to becoming the CEO of a major tech company and comes back to East High to hold an important tech event that just happens to be at the same time as the school musical and also the biggest basketball game ever. 

The probable reality: She's on her way to becoming the CEO of a major tech company and comes back to East High to hold an important tech event. We can see it! 

Chad Danforth (Corbin Bleu)

Our dream: He's the assistant coach for the Wildcats. He will never leave East High. 

The probable reality: He's dead. Just kidding! He's totally the assistant coach for the Wildcats and will never leave East High. What team?! 

Kelsi Nielsen (Olesya Rulin)

Our dream: East High's resident piano genius now plays piano for the Albuquerque Philharmonic and owns a hat shop on the side. She comes back to East High to outfit the orchestra with new hats. 

The probable reality: She remains East High's resident piano player, but she got so good at it that she was on Ellen one time. 

High School Musical

Disney Channel/Netflix

Sharpay Evans (Ashley Tisdale) 

Our dream: She's the true star of The Real Housewives of Albuquerque, and owns everything in town. She has her own line of everything you can have a line of, and just pops up throughout the movie in every way possible. You hate her, but you also kind of love her. And Zeke is her personal chef. 

The probable reality: She and Ryan took over as the new East High theatre directors when Ms. Darbus moved into a Sandals resort. Zeke is still her personal chef. 

Ryan Evans (Lucas Grabeel

Our dream: He's the fictional version of Andy Cohen and hosts his own version of Watch What Happens Live that's mostly based in Albuquerque and very focused on the latest high school drama. 

The probable reality: He and Sharpay took over as the new East High theatre directors when Ms. Darbus moved into a Sandals resort. 

High School Musical

Disney Channel/Netflix

Martha Cox (KayCee Stroh)

Our dream: She lived her own dream of popping, locking, jamming, and breaking full time as a professional hip hop dancer. She won So You Think You Can Dance, but she's always willing to come back and host a dance competition between East and West High. 

The probable reality: She teaches hip hop classes at the Y, but she will still host the dance competition between East and West High. 

Ms. Darbus (Alyson Reed)

Our dream: She now lives in a Sandals resort, having the time of her life, but there's a giant portrait of her in the auditorium which she had commissioned herself. 

The probable reality: Same. And honestly we'd take a whole spin-off about it.