Kerry Washington Gives Advice to Her 18-Year-Old Self

"You're going to find therapy and it's going to be amazing!" the Scandal star tells Teen Vogue readers

By Zach Johnson Feb 24, 2016 3:17 PMTags

Kerry Washington hasn't been a teen in 20 years.

But the 39-year-old Scandal star remembers just how pivotal that time in her life was and is now helping Teen Vogue's readers as they come into their own. In a video diary entry for the magazine, Washington—who graduated from New York City's famed Spence School in 1994 (Gwyneth Paltrow was a few years ahead of her)—muses on everything from following your dreams, to seeking the help of a therapist and more.

"Dear Kerry, I'm talking to you around 18, so this is a time when you're transitioning from high school to college. Lots on your mind, lots to be stressed out about, so here are some of my thoughts from the future: Make sure that your dreams are yours. Make sure that you are not pursuing the dreams that somebody thinks you should have, because dreams take a lot of work and a lot of support, and you'll be more inspired to go after them if they are really, really yours," says Washington, who graduated from George Washington University in 1998, just two years before she made her film debut in the coming of age drama Our Song. "Make a plan, but know that sometimes when you make a plan, God laughs because God has another plan, and that plan is probably better than your plan. You just have to hang in there and be patient for it."

"Be around people that make you feel good, not just 'yes people' who tell you what you want to hear, but people who really love you for who you are and make you feel loved, and people who you want to love and make them feel good," she says before sharing wisdom from someone she loves. "I had a yoga teacher who said to me always stay on your own yoga mat, because sometimes if you're in headstand and you're too busy looking at the person on the other mat, you could literally break your neck. I feel like that's a really good metaphor for life, to stay on your own path," she continues. "Do what's right for you. You can't compare your insides with somebody else's outsides because you never know what's going on with somebody else, really."

Transitioning from high school to college can be emotionally taxing, but the good news is that everyone is in the same boat. "Just know that everybody has growing pains and the only way out is through," Washington says. "You're going to find therapy and it's going to be amazing!"

Washington, who has a 22-month-old daughter with former NFL player Nnamdi Asomugha, says she has become "endlessly more grateful" for her parents after becoming a parent herself. "I really now understand what it means to parent," she tells Teen Vogue, "and not a day goes by that I don't think about how blessed I am to have been born to the parents I was born to."

Everything that has happened to Washington, good and bad, has led her to where she is today. She hopes today's teens will find solace in the fact that they're not alone in their struggles. "The things that challenge you the most in life are probably going to be the things that you look back on and are so grateful for because they made you better. So, the things that challenge you, try to be grateful for them and try to imagine how they have been put in your life specifically to help you. Take a deep breath. Know that nothing's forever. If people are pushing you to excel it's probably because they really care about you, but just do your best. That's all that matters," she says. "That will lead you to where you're supposed to go if you really are doing your best."