Behold! Our Year-End Awards: The Prop 88s!

The Awful Truth's dubious celeb achievement awards

Time for our annual end-of-the year awards, everybody! Surely, one of the worst things introduced to the world in 2008—besides Heidi Montag's singing voice—was the shameful and hideous Prop 8, which forced gay California residents to go back to Rosa Parks' time and have their civil liberties curtailed by making gay marriage illegal.

So we decided that in 2009, if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em! We're taking over and deciding who is no longer allowed to do what, don't you just love it? We feel like born-again Mormons, it's so empowering! (Who cares if it's wrong, it's just too de-lish to resist!) Each day, for the next 11 working days, we'll provide eight different celebrity propositions and when we get through all 88, the prop with the most votes becomes effective immediately. No need to register—just do your civic duty and vote!

Poll

The Prop 88s: Day 1

Which Prop Should Be Passed?

<b>Elisabeth Hasselbeck</b> is no longer allowed to speak. Outspoken Republican voices have bankrupted this country enough as it is.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is no longer allowed to speak. Outspoken Republican voices have bankrupted this country enough as it is.

34.8%

<b>Shia LaBeouf</b>'s and <b>Katherine Heigl</b>'s cigarettes are taken away. Their lungs are saved; their careers, not so much.

Shia LaBeouf's and Katherine Heigl's cigarettes are taken away. Their lungs are saved; their careers, not so much.

7%

<b>Justin Timberlake</b> is required to make an appearance on <i>Saturday Night Live</i> each week. But he can only sing if it's with <b>Andy Samberg.</b>

Justin Timberlake is required to make an appearance on Saturday Night Live each week. But he can only sing if it's with Andy Samberg.

8.8%

<b>Lindsay Lohan</b> is no longer allowed to blog. She needs to put her pen to a better use&mdash;writing a tell-all.

Lindsay Lohan is no longer allowed to blog. She needs to put her pen to a better use—writing a tell-all.

6.8%

<b>Jennifer Aniston</b> has to put back on all of her clothes or take them all off. Either one-up <b>Angie</b> in <i>Playboy</i> by going all the way, or stop making yourself seem so utterly desperate.

Jennifer Aniston has to put back on all of her clothes or take them all off. Either one-up Angie in Playboy by going all the way, or stop making yourself seem so utterly desperate.

19.7%

The word "maverick" is erased from all dictionaries, in all languages.We've heard it more times this year than in our entire lives. Double that for the words "<b>Sarah Palin</b>."

The word "maverick" is erased from all dictionaries, in all languages.We've heard it more times this year than in our entire lives. Double that for the words "Sarah Palin."

9.4%

<b>Paula Abdul</b> isn't allowed to critique singers anymore. Wait, has she ever done this?

Paula Abdul isn't allowed to critique singers anymore. Wait, has she ever done this?

3%

<b>Christina Aguilera</b>'s lipstick is to be confiscated. Clowns everywhere are jealous that Christina's taking their jobs away.

Christina Aguilera's lipstick is to be confiscated. Clowns everywhere are jealous that Christina's taking their jobs away.

10.4%

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