Paging Dr. Doug Ross.
George Clooney reprised that very role when he appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tuesday, donning the scrubs he wore during the NBC series' first five seasons of ER. Jimmy Kimmel played a patient who "lost of blood" and required immediate medical attention. "Somebody bring me a scalpel," Clooney said. Then, he asked, "Why didn't anybody bring me a scalpel?"
That's when Kimmel confessed that the ER reunion wasn't going to be much of a reunion. "I know I'm supposed to be under, but the reason nobody's bringing you a scalpel is because this was kind of a last-minute thing and we had some trouble getting the whole cast of ER," he said.
"Julianna Margulies?" Clooney asked.
"She's filming The Good Wife so she couldn't make it," Kimmel said.
"Noah Wyle?" Clooney asked.
"He wanted to be here," Kimmel said, "but I guess he's got a thing with his family: Taco Tuesday."
"Eriq La Salle?" Clooney asked.
"Oh, no. Eriq La Salle has jury duty," Kimmel explained. "I'm sorry. We really probably shouldn't have even done this. If you want to cancel..." Clooney balked at the idea of backing out. "No, I don't want to cancel," he told the ABC host. "When George Clooney commits to an ER sequel..."
"Reunion," Kimmel corrected him.
"When George Clooney says he's going to show up for an ER reunion..." Clooney said. Not wanting to be the lone wolf in the operating room, he asked Kimmel, "Do you have anybody?"
"Well, yeah, we did get someone for you," Kimmel said.
"Oh, look! Look who joined us!" he added. "It's Hugh Laurie from ER." Laurie, who co-starred with Clooney in 2015's Tomorrowland, clarified he "was not technically on ER. I was on House."
"All right," Clooney said. "Well, that's close enough."
The two men then inspected Kimmel's groin area.
"Wow," Laurie said, stifling his laughter.
"Ooh, that's bad," Clooney commented.
"That's terrible," Laurie said in agreement.
"Is there anything wrong?" Kimmel asked. "Doctor, please!"
"Not wrong exactly," Laurie said. "It's just that I don't do microsurgery."
Kimmel asked the two TV doctors to "get on with the operation" just moments before he started "dying" in his hospital bed. "I'll tell you what, his kidneys are shutting down," Laurie said. "He's going into multisystem organ failure." Clooney thought he might be suffering from supraventricular vatack arrhythmia, to which Laurie said, "I don't even remember what that is!"
"Where is Sherry Stringfield?" Clooney asked.
Kimmel awoke to say, "She couldn't get an Uber so she didn't come."
"Tony Edwards?" Clooney asked.
"He's at Soul Cycle," Kimmel explained.
Clooney then lifted Kimmel's hospital gown and spoke directly to his penis. "Come on! Let's go, little Jimmy!" he yelled. "Little Jimmy, stay with us." After Kimmel's blood pressure started to drop, Clooney decided it was time to perform CPR. When that didn't work, Laurie told his colleague, "You've got to give him the rapper's delight." Like the Sugharhill Gang song? "Aw, Dr. Ross," Laurie said. "Do you remember what they taught us at TV medical school?" Sure enough, Clooney's rapping helped Kimmel overcome whatever his penile affliction was. "Dr. Ross, you saved him!" Laurie told Clooney. "You used hip-hop to save his life. Dr. Ross, you're a genius."