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Just call us the second coming of the millionaire matchmaker!
Today's victim prospect is none other than Miss Hilary Duff. The actress-slash-singer-slash-former-Lizzie-McGuire-alter-ego (you didn't think you'd escape that one so quick, did ya Hil?) has been on the market for awhile now, since her not-so-recent-anymore split from former husband Mike Comrie. She's been quite open about her attempts to find a new man, what with all of her Tindering and failed bowling dates.
It really is such a shame too, because she is a catch. Just look at her! She didn't get that kicky bob for nothing, people. She deserves to be out on the town, being wined and dined by a handsome and intellectual man with the cajones to make a commitment. Not only is she the star of a mildly successful TV show (that would be Younger), but she has a new album and she is a Mom to a beautiful little boy who just happens to be one of the most stylish kids in Hollywood. Anyone who can balance being famous with shopping for cool sneakers the size of an iPhone is fooling around.
So here we are at your service, Hil. We've combed through pretty much all of the available men in Hollywood (sorry, plebeians, but this is a famous-only matchmaking session) and found five super eligible bachelors that we think deserve a little facetime with The Duff. And if she's not interested for some reason, well...we're available.
To the men!
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This one is a no-brainer. After all, she admitted just this morning on Ellen that she's got a total crush on the guy. (Who doesn't?). But we're really pushing for this relationship to work. Harry is a stand-up guy, and he's obviously good with kids thanks to all of his time spent with his own royal niece and nephew, and all the wee ones he visits as part of his duties. But beyond that the guy is just the best—he sends out a picture of himself with a vet as a Christmas card, for gosh sakes. We really shouldn't have to be selling him as much as we are. Case closed.
2. Nico Tortorella
These two claim not to be romantically involved whatsoever, but we think Hil should look a little closer at her Younger costar. There's obviously chemistry there, and how could there not be because hello have you seen this man's face/body/the fact that he loves dogs? He's kind of a stone cold weirdo but we love that. Plus, he once admitted to having a crush on Lizzie McGuire so that's a fantasy waiting to happen.
3. Michael B. Jordan
If Mike and Hillary don't find love then the Creed star is going to be the next victim of our matchmaking service, because it is a d--n shame that he's still single. He claims to be like "busy working" and wanting to focus on "career" until he has the time to devote a partner. Bollocks. We see lots of couples workouts and also staring into each other's eyes in this twosome's future.
4. Chris Evans
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As young at heart as Hilary may be, she's a mom and she's been married before, which means she needs a slightly older man in her life. Chris, a.k.a. Captain America, is a ripe old 34. Perfect! He's also dating some seriously awesome (and awesomely strong) women before, so he's prime pickings for a gal like Hil.
5. J.J. Watt
We know your type, Hilary. You like-a the athletes. Since dating within the NHL didn't work out so great, we're suggesting a switch o' sports—right over to the NFL's most thoughtful player. J.J. is everything you could want in a man: Besides his freakish physical abilities, he's smart and sensitive and is always working to help those less fortunate than him (which, honestly, is everybody). We can't think of a better role model for little Luca.