We're not just writers over here at E! Online. We're scientists!*
*Not actually professional scientists in any sense of the word
Pizza Hut has created a truly groundbreaking food creation called the Stuffed Garlic Knots Pizza, which is essentially a normal Pizza Hut pie with 16 cheese-stuffed garlic knots dotting the crust like clouds dot the sky of your carb dreams.
"Pizza Hut prides itself on being the best-tasting and most innovative pizza restaurant company in the world, and the Stuffed Garlic Knots Pizza is a shining example of that," said Vice President of Marketing Jared Drinkwater in a statement. "We always want every pizza night to feel like a special occasion. By combining a humungous appetizer portion of 16 cheese-stuffed garlic knots with a great-tasting large Pizza Hut pizza, we have created the Stuffed Garlic Knot Pizza. Now, with an appetizer and pizza all in one, our customers have the unique ability to make a night in feel like a night out."
If you've never heard of a garlic knot, just imagine garlic bread compacted down to the shape of delicious balls. And try not to giggle at the term "delicious balls."
Thankfully, we didn't just get to view this new menu item through a computer screen. We got to experience this pizza using all our senses. We smelled it. We touched it. We tasted it. For science!
The Stuffed Garlic Knots Pizza is not just a new and improved cheesy, garlic delivery system; it's sort of a game. And the game is called "Can You Pick Up the Slice of Pizza Without the Garlic Knots Tumbling Off?"
We played that game and lost a lot. Those puppies come right off, which is probably the point. Because the pizza also comes with marinara sauce for dunking. So for the most part, we didn't eat the pizza with the Garlic Knots crust still intact; we filled up on the cheese-stuffed garlic balls first, hated ourselves for eating them before the pizza, ate the pizza anyway, hated ourselves more. Repeat.
This new menu item was exactly what we expected it to be: a slice of pizza with extra cheese and carbs because this is America, damn it. We loved it. And if you need to impress your friends for Super Bowl Sunday, you should probably have this baby on the table.
Pizza Hut's Stuffed Garlic Knots Pizza is available for only a limited time so what the hell are you waiting for?!