Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
Charlie Carver is opening up about his sexuality.
The 27-year-old actor, who stars in hit shows like Teen Wolf (along with his twin brother Max Carver) and The Leftovers, took to Instagram today to repeatedly share a single quote that was important to him. But what was even more important were the captions paired with the photos, which included a lengthy but heartwarming message—Charlie Carver shared that he is gay.
With a photo of the quote "Be who you needed when you were younger," the celeb wrote, "As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus... But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade."
He continued, "Over time, this abstract 'knowing' grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: 'I am gay'. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt.
"They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family.."
Carver celebrated the fact that he comes from a family who was very accepting of who he is, but understand that's not the case for everybody in his situation. He also made mention that there were plenty of things about "coming out" that rubbed him the wrong way.
"While my Coming Out was very important for me, I wanted to believe in a world where one's sexuality was for the most part irrelevant. That it didn't 'matter,' or that at least it was something that didn't need to or ideally shouldn't ever have to be announced to a stranger, a new colleague, an interviewer," Carver, who has played a variety of gay roles on-screen (including a steamy threesome with James Franco and Zachary Quinto in I Am Michael), added.
"Even the words 'Coming Out' bothered me. I took issue with them insofar as that 'Coming Out' implied being greeted with attention, attention for something I would prefer to be implicitly just Human, an attribute or adjective that was only part of how I saw my whole self. I did not want to be defined by my sexuality. Sure, I am a proud gay man, but I don't identify as a Gay man, or a GAY man, or just gay. I identify as a lot of things, these various identifications and identities taking up equal space and making up an ever-fluid sense of Self."
Carver continued, "I long for the world to be simple, for everyone to feel happy and safe in who they are as individuals and members of a community. I can only hope that the beginning of this unrest is productive, something our generation(s) is moving through in order to end up someplace better.
"So now, let the record show this—I self-identify as gay. And does that really matter anymore? As a young man, I needed a young man in Hollywood to say that—and without being a dick about it, I owe it to myself, more than anything, to be who I needed when I was younger."