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Alanis Morissette

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Well this isn't ironic at all!

Alanis Morissette has a brand new gig, and it doesn't have anything to do with singing. She's going to be an advice columnist! The Canadian artist will be taking over Molly Ringwald's gig at The Guardian starting with the January 16 edition.

The paper announced the news this morning, and while the gig may come as a surprise to some, it seems that Morissette has actually been priming herself to be the next Ask Amy for some time now. According to The Guardian, she's started recording relationship podcasts on her own website, and she has been offering up advice to her family since childhood. Plus, you know, if you make it through a breakup with Dave Coulier in one piece, you've definitely got a secret to life that the rest of us don't.

We figured that Alanis would need a little bit of material to pull from for her first column, so we decided to come up with a few questions we have that the singer could shed some wisdom on. To the advice!

What's the best way to get revenge on my ex?

We're hosting a dinner party for our in-laws and only have spoons. What do we do?!

How do we know if we're ready to get dreadlock braids?

How should I handle it if my ex gets involved with a new woman?

I'm looking to walk around a public square naked—what precautions should I take?

What's the best conditioner to use if I want to grow our hair long enough to cover our boobs?

What's the best way to stage a comeback in my career?

So, like, what's the deal with healing crystals?

My best friend just stabbed me in the back; how do I channel my inner rage?

I'm having my dream wedding on the beach this weekend, but the forecast is for rain. How do I prevent a meltdown?

I'm constantly ordering Ubers right before my friends offer to drive me home. How do I keep my passenger rating up without wasting money?

My boyfriend's old girlfriend is threatening to write a song about me. How do I prevent total embarrassment?

How do I pick out the best beanie for my personality?

What is a jagged little pill? No advice here, we're just curious.

What's the secret to love and happiness? You know, in a nutshell.