Not everyone who works at Sur will be invited to Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz's upcoming wedding. The engaged Vanderpump Rules co-stars appeared on Bravo's Watch What Happens Live Monday night and played a game Andy Cohen invented called "RSVP or Bitch, Please?"
It's no surprise that James Kennedy and Lala Kent will not be watching the couple say "I do," but what about Lauren Chavez, the hostess who bit Kennedy? Or the dishwashers who laughed at Kristen Doute when she got fired? Or Diana Dacheva, the Sur manager who Kristen told to "suck a d--k?" Or Scheana Shay's mother? Maloney and Schwartz can't invite everyone they've ever worked with or met, after all. Fortunately, they mostly agreed on their wedding guest list.
Things got weird when a viewer named Bif called in to ask whether former employee Stassi Schroeder will score an invite—but not before he laid into Schwartz for his past transgressions.
"I know he's not into her, but whatever," Bif told Cohen.
Cohen replied, "No, of course he's into her."
"No, he's not. He can't even hold a job. He doesn't even defend her when [Jax Taylor] accused her of motorboating his D. You hooked up with a girl and only told her when you got the text message, he poured a drink on your head on vacation, gives you a ring on a string, makes the worst business pitch in history. And worst of all, he got a perm. So, no, he doesn't love you," Bif said as their jaws hit the floor. "He's in love with himself and Jax. Katie, are you talking to Stassi?"
During Bif's rant, Schwartz said, "Whoa, whoa, Bif! Settle down."
After Bif was done, he joked, "Don't talk about the perm!"
Cohen then asked Bif, "Did you have a question about Stassi?"
"Actually, I do, if this clown would be quiet," Bif said, referring to Schwartz. "What's your relationship with Stassi like now? Is she 'RSVP or Bitch, Please?' And you look great, by the way, Katie." And that's when it all became clear to Cohen, Maloney and Schwartz: Bif has a crush on Schwartz's fiancée. "Oh, now we get to it. I think Bif has a thing for you," Cohen said, teasing Maloney. "That's why he's crapping all over Tom." As to whether Schroeder will attend her ex BFF's wedding, well, that will remain a mystery—for now. "Um, I'm not sure. Wait and see, maybe," Maloney told Bif. "Maybe you might know about that in a few weeks' time."
Another viewer called in and asked Maloney whether she fears Schwartz will ever be unfaithful to her again. "Absolutely not," she replied. "They say, 'Once a cheater, always a cheater,' but I don't subscribe to that knowledge. I trust him and, like, I think he learned is lesson that one time and he knows never to do it again, otherwise he [gets cut]...It won't happen." Schwartz agreed and promised it's "not gonna happen." But if it ever does happen, Bif will surely be ready to swoop in.
(E! and Bravo are both members of the NBCUniversal family.)