What can you get for $6 that will dry your tears, ease your mind and distract you from drunk dialing your ex? You guys, it's the Papa John's cookie-brownie, duh! Their new "Brookie" (ha) appears to be a dessert pizza of sorts, which Brand Eating notes chocolate brownie batter is spread on top of chocolate chip cookie dough and baked as one. PRAISE. If you find yourself single and fabulous as we roll into the new year, order one of these to keep you company. Seriously wouldn't you rather hang out with this big guy all winter than anyone on OkCupid? Hint: Yes. If you need something else to go with that Brookie, we put together a list of all the new fast food menu items you have to try in 2016. We kid you not —one of your favorite restaurants made Mountain Dew chicken wings. What a time to be alive.
1. Carl's Jr. organic turkey burger. This one is for all those fast-foodies who made it their New Year's resolution to eat better. Not exactly sure this is healthy in a low-cal kind of way but hey, eating a burger with the word "organic" next to it has to count for something, you know? Grubstreet notes the burger is also antibiotic and hormone free. Sold.
2. Snickers pie from Burger King. Unlike the burger above, this tasty morsel (along with literally everything else on this list) goes out to all the fast foodies who DGAF about New Year's resolutions. AKA us. If you just want to live, laugh and love your way through 2016, this pie is the key to living your best life. According to GrubGrade, a slice consists of a "creamy caramel filling and topped with crumbled pieces of Snickers, all resting on a chocolate cookie crust." BAI.
3. Fudge croissant donut from Dunkin' Donuts. This is the best way to ride out that cronut craze into the sunset. This is also what we're going to be making out with on New Year's Eve. GrubGrade tells us we can expect a fudge filled experience with a chocolate and white icing topping. So into it.
4. Loaded curly fries from Arby's. As if curly fries weren't already the Beyonce of the Arby's menu, the chain has gone and made a good thing good...er. Can we still dip these in Broncoberry sauce even though they come pre-loaded? What exactly are these fries loaded with, you ask? Brand Eating tells us they will be topped with "warm cheddar cheese sauce, chopped pepper bacon, shredded cheddar cheese, and a drizzle of Parmesan peppercorn ranch sauce." R.I.P abs and dignity.
5. Taco Bell's Sriracha Chicken and Spicy Beef Nacho Crunchwrap Sliders. Anything with the word "slider" in the title is music to our stomach. Actually, anything with the words "Taco Bell" in the title is music to our entire life. Does that sentence even make sense? Probs not, but, at least these two new menu items do. Brand Eating says these dolls are only a buck, and they get their crunch from the Frito's chips they stuff inside. This is too much, y'all.
6. Olive Garden's FlavorFilled pastas. rfljwkejrlkwjf$erj%^erwje!!!!! Hold me closer tiny pasta. According to Brand Eating, the dishes we can expect to fall in love with are Sausage Stuffed Giant Rigatoni, Chicken Marsala Ravioli, Smoked Mozzarella Manicotti and Lobster Ravioli. The lobster dish is pictured above because we're going to screenshot it later and make it everyone's caller ID.
7. Buffalo Wild Wings Zesty Citrus wings. Delicious foodie fusion, or potential toxic waste? According to the B-Dubs website, these bad boys are crafted with a dash of the "citrus flavors" from Mountain Dew. We think you should try them and let us know how it goes. Are you a better person because of this experience, or does your pee just radiate a neon yellow color now?
8. McDonald's mozzarella sticks. Call the fire department. McDonald's is getting too lit with their menu choices. We're more than okay with this, however. Brand Eating notes you can look out for the sticks of joy in early 2016 if they haven't hit your neck of the woods already. If it were legal to marry a rod of deep-fried, processed dairy we could all delete Tinder. Think about it.
9. McDonald's mac and cheese. Ohio McDonald's, in particular, needs to turn down. They rolled out mac and freakin' cheese and now they've got us looking for sublets in Cleveland.
Which of these epic menu items will you be trying in the new year? Tell us in the comments —especially if you hit those Mountain Dew wings and live to talk about it.
Here's why Snooki says junk food made her stupid!