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Ruby Tuesdays, Time Square

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You have to be mildly insane to stand hours in the tundra, squeezed by a Play-Doh fun factory of people around you, just to see some bowling ball slide down a pole. We're talking of course about freezing your tuts off in New York's Times Square to watch the ball drop on New Year's Eve. Why, people!? Wouldn't you rather be surrounded by the comfort of fleece blankets and a box of Franzia Pino Grigio? If the answer is no, these NYE Times Square meal "deals" we're about to tell you about, might be right for you.

Buca di Beppo

bucadibeppo.com

We all know that Times Square is a bustling tourist mecca similar to the Eiffel Tower or the Leaning Tower of Pisa —but like 300 times trashier. According to New York Post, those of you bold enough (in our opinion) to visit Times Square on New Year's Eve can attempt to catch a glimpse of the ball drop from various (but not all) surrounding restaurants. At the very least, you can avoid the crowds and the cold, right? Sure, if you're into taking out a literal loan for a pile of carbs at the Olive Garden. The site dishes (ha, food puns) that your favorite wallet-friendly chains are charging patrons sickening amounts of cash-money to enjoy New Year's Eve at their establishments. 

Olive Garden

Jonathan Fickies/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Looking for a simple way to fall behind on rent? Drop $799 at Bubba Gump Shrimp in Times Square and watch your life slip into financial ruin. What would Tom Hanks say!? Ever dreamed about adding a dash of despair to your monsoon of credit card debt? Neighboring Buca di Beppo has got your back. For a slick $999, a presumably marinara-drenched NYE can be yours. One of the most "budget-friendly" of the bunch is Olive Garden, where for $400 you can partake in a mother effin' buffet. This is the only deal that speaks to us on an emotional level, although New York Post notes they will not be serving breadsticks. *Faints.* Regardless, buffet + Olive Garden + NYE = turn up.

There's one last piece of WTF we have to share with you. This is some Guy Fieri-crashing-through-the-restaurant-wall-in-an-all-chrome-Dodge-Ram kind of cray. Times Square's Ruby Tuesday will charge its customers up to a whopping $1,699 to party with them on NYE. Really, Ruby!? Your "Thai Phoon Shrimp" better taste like diamonds and payed-off student loans, then —if you're even serving it that night. According to TimesSquareNewYears.com, it appears only apps and drinks will be served. Lame. 

Would you pay those crazy prices at your favorite chains? Tell us in the comments! 

Find out which musical guest will help Ryan Seacrest with the NYE countdown!