Domino'sPizza, be praised!
Amazing technological advances are happening, thanks to our nation's scientists and innovators.
But let's not talk about that, let's talk about the fact that Domino's has created an "Easy Order" button, so you can order pizza by only lifting a finger.
Gosh, we still have to lift a finger? Ugh.
According to Engadget, the buttons will make their UK debut in December. Though a U.S. date hasn't been announced, we still have that order-by-emoji option, which allows you to order a pizza by simply tweeting the pizza emoji.
All the UK pizza lovers will have to do is save their info via the Domino's site or app, then they can go to town pressing that button like they're in NASA, executing a rocket launch. Except they're, you know, just ordering a pizza.
Between phone calls, apps, buttons, and more, we've made some strides in getting food to our doors (and bellies), but we think we can do even better.
Why stop there?
We have a few ideas for even more lazy ways to get junk food into our lives, many of which are totally illegal or impractical and you should 100% not try them.
1. Shout through your apartment walls until someone brings you a pizza.
2. Why stop at an on-demand ordering button when you can wear a Life Alert-style necklace to have someone bring you food?
3. Call an ambulance, and when they ask what's wrong, tell them your problem... and also that you're hungry and they should hit a drive-thru on the way. (Again, don't really do this. Unless you like getting in a lot of trouble and generally make terrible decisions.)
4. Become a telepathic mutant, like X-Men-style, and communicate your thoughts using brainwaves. Make the food come to you.
5. Swipe right on Tinder to anyone who has a profile pic with food. Only exchange those digits if their idea of "Netflix & chill" includes some Del Taco.
6. Become a social media celebrity without ever leaving your couch. Amass followers. Beckon them to do your bidding, which includes burger deliveries.
7. Create a Facebook event for a party where everyone brings food. Tell them you'll handle the booze. When they arrive, take the food, and kick them out. Continue this behavior until you've lost your friend group, then find a new friend group.
8. Tell people you're in mourning and can't leave the house. When they show up to the "wake" you're holding, inevitably with food because they feel bad for you, they will ask about your loss. Tell them the only thing you've lost is your dignity. Then take their food, and again, kick them out.
9. Become the CEO of a new Fortune 500 company, but have that Fortune 500 company be like, the latest and greatest fast food chain. Interns will fetch everything for you.
10. Turn your home into a Taco Bell. Or better yet, just live in a Taco Bell.
11. Have children. (Yes, there's some effort required to birthing a child.) However, once born, train that child to bring you food. But don't let them drive until it's legal, obvs.
12. Command an army of food-delivering drones before the government finally gets around to properly regulating the use of drones.
13. Call the people you've wronged to make amends (probably the people in No. 7 and 8 on this list, at least.) Invite them over so you can apologize, and ask them to pick up Burger King on the way. When they show up, take their food, and kick them out.
14. Meditate until you're on a new plane of consciousness, then will yourself into becoming a pizza.
15. Shoot a pornographic film in your home, the kind with a pizza delivery guy. Every time the actor makes his entrance, take the pizza, then skip the sex part and just eat the pizza.
16. Train falcons to pick up food for you.
17. Turn your life around after trying No. 1 through 16 on this list, be an amazing person, and hope people shower you with gratitude, and burgers.
And if you're turning things around and decide to actually cook, you can watch the video below for tips on how to make a perfect vegan pizza.