Steve Dietl/FOX"This is what happens to hog-faced bitches who try to steal other people's boyfriends."
Gulp. Really, Chanel?
Tonight's Scream Queens went out with a bang—or rather a push and a sickening snap—as Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) pushed Hester (Lea Michele) down the Kappa house's massive marble staircase.
You all heard the snap, right? As her neck cracked at the very end? But is she really dead? Or was that the neck brace itself cracking?
A little scoop for you (without giving too much away): Lea Michele's work on Scream Queens is not done. Lea will be seen in next week's episode, number 10. But in a flashback? A death scene? A funeral? As a (non-) evil twin? You'll find out next Tuesday, idiot hookers! And by the way, next week's episode might just be the best one yet.
Here's more scoop on what went down tonight and what lies ahead:
WHAT WE LEARNED
1. Hester (Number Six) Is Pregnant With Chad Radwell's Baby. Or at least, she claimed to be. Chanel's test of getting her to consume sushi, soft cheeses and champagne was obviously not definitive. And of course, if Hester DID survive that staircase fall, it's also of course entirely possible she lost the baby. Real or imagined.
2. The Red Devil Is Boone's Brother! We can now assume with 99% certainty that Boone was the second baby born in the bathtub (after the mother's "death rattle" pushed him out…And yeah, we're pretty sure that's never happened in the history of mankind, but nice try, Dean Munch.) So who is Boone's twin sister? Whoever she is, she is The Killer who has masterminded this whole serial-killer plot from the get-go.
3. Earl Grey and Boone Are Dead. Out of the now 13 deaths on the show, only a few have been female. Clearly, whoever The Killer is, she has it out for the Dicky Dollar Scholars more than anyone in Kappa Kappa Tau.
4. That Kappa Legend Is a Real Thing. Yup! That monster living in the sewer was traditionally used in ancient Japan to warn children of dangers lurking in rivers and lakes. (Mom note: Seems counterintuitive to potty training?)
WHAT LIES AHEAD
1. Radwell GLORY. Next week we finally get the glorious Thanksgiving episode in which we get to meet Chad's family, including dad Alan Thicke and brothers Patrick Schwarzenegger and Chad Michael Murray. (So much yes.)
2. We'll Find Out Who Boone's Sister Is. Boone is a twin in the bathtub and his twin sister will be revealed. Guesses?
3. The Red Devil Could Actually Be…Petite. The Red Devil has been looking rather tall and mannish in that costume all season long (the stunt double, remember, is this guy we revealed to you—whose face you will also see a bit later on as he plays a pizza guy), but Emma Roberts herself hinted to me that if Chanel Oberlin WERE the Red Devil, she'd sure find a way to pad out that costume so it wasn't obvious it was her petite little frame. (Ditto Hester, who, as you already know from the closet raid, is the exact same size as Chanel.)
CURRENT RANKING OF RED DEVIL SUSPECTS
1. Chanel Oberlin. (Now we know she is capable of murder! She's actually killed twice: Ms. Bean and Hester.)
2. Hester. (Did she fake her own death? Is she in cahoots with Chanel and that's why she brought back the neckbrace?)
3. Grace. (She's the last one you'd expect, and therefore the first one you should.)
4. Weston. (Still creepy as hell.)
5. Denise Hemsfield. (Who escapes The Red Devil in a bathroom stall unless you are in on it?)
6. Dean Munch. (Too obvious? Probably.)
7. Chanel Number 3 or Chanel 5. (Why not?)
8. Grace's Mother. Could she still be alive? (My Alias roots will never leave me.)
IT CAN'T BE
1. Zayday. (She clearly wasn't in on whatever Boone's goofy plot to sleep with her was all about. Therefore not the Red Devil.)
2. Chad Radwell. (He would have never killed his Dicky Dollar bros including Boone, and believed Boone to be truly dead.)
3. Gigi. (We know she's a minion.)
See you next Tuesday! #WhatsOnTheTurkeyPlatter