Stephen Colbert is teaching Kanye West about the true meaning of Christmas.
Utter and total chart domination, of course.
Convinced that he should be selling more albums, the fauxservative funnyman has called upon Colbert Nation to knock the Grammy winner off his high iTunes horse by swarming the online music store Wednesday at exactly 5 p.m. ET to snatch up A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!—all with an eye on dethroning Kanye's latest album, 808s & Heartbreak, currently iTunes' No. 1 download.
Somehow, Colbert's Xmas album is dawdling at No. 16, despite the fact that Kanye is only tied for fifth place, along with Crocs, in the race to be the voice of this generation.
"This is war, and I'm calling for a surge," Colbert declared as he prepared to bring out the big guns—his own arrogance—to conquer Kanye's ego.