AP Photo/Vincent YuSo, Justin Bieber's penis hit the Internet yesterday...
And yet the sun set and we all lived to talk about it today. But Twitter was temporarily swept away in a cataclysmic cloud of just not knowing what to do with the 21-year-old heartthrob's genitals making the rounds place once photos of him frolicking in the nude in Bora Bora were obtained by the New York Daily News.
The NYDN of course did not post the pics without censoring Bieber's bits, but yet there it was, his uncensored junk right at the top of our Twitter feeds thanks to someone who presumably felt that he or she was doing God's work. Adam and Eve, you know? (Though even Adam is usually pictured with fig leaf...)
Anyway, many of the reactions were of the type you might expect, falling into several camps: There were those whose lives peaked on the spot. Then there were the snide, why-is-my-feed-full-of-Bieber's-dick responses. Similarly, there were others who just found the whole thing hilarious.
And then there were those who benignly typed "Bieber" into their search fields—we perhaps feel the worst for them—and just weren't ready to see such things.
But there were also many, many people rushing to Bieber's defense in the wake of the leak, Beliebers worried for their boy's privacy.
Some precious types even Photoshopped clothes onto the naked pics that sported the name and release date of his next album—Purpose, Nov. 13.
And still others brought up an interesting question, though they might not have first noticed that not everyone was virtually hootin' and hollerin' about the big (yeah, sorry, pun intended) reveal: Was any positive reaction at all actually evidence of a disturbing double standard?
As in, women are put through the ringer when they voluntarily flaunt their bods and Bieber's free-balling ways are being applauded. And, on the flip side, why was Bieber fair game in this case at all?
Let's put it this way: We're dealing in apples and oranges. Or apples and bananas, if you will.
Publications that hold themselves to certain standards usually seek the advice of counsel in such matters, and whether or not Bieber intended for anyone other than his sunbathing companion—model Jayde Pierce—to see him naked at the time does not necessarily mean that he was in a place where he couldn't expect others to get a glimpse.
But then of course you always have to consider who and what exactly it is that you're dealing with. The Internet has proven that there's basically an interest in everything, no matter how vile, so just because the public might want to know or see, that doesn't mean you have to oblige.
A photographer took and sold pictures of a topless Kate Middleton while she was sunning herself at a private estate, thereby committing a crime per the law of the land—a scenario cloaked in red flag and distaste. Major celebrities such as Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson and Christina Aguilera have had their clouds and phones hacked and nude pictures that they absolutely should have been able to consider private were stolen from them. About as distasteful as it gets and, once again, crimes were committed.
But whatever you think of the Bieber photos and how they were taken, this situation is not the same as those instances, for multiple reasons.
And anyone who thinks that Kate, J.Law, ScarJo or Xtina brought the photo scandals upon themselves can suck it, because crimes were committed in the obtaining of those pictures. They were not complicit in the process.
So what sort of situation are we dealing with here, then?
To different extents, all of the ladies mentioned above live fiercely more private lives than Bieber does. Which also doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve privacy when he wants it; the point is that more times than not he willingly has let the outside in.
However, just as no one should get on a female celebrity's case for nude sunbathing or for having snapped a pic to show her boyfriend (that some creep later stole), no one should shame Bieber for walking around in the buff on his vacation. He was just livin' life.
And in this particular case, his fans also shouldn't get themselves into a twist worrying about him all of a sudden getting too much exposure.
While everyone and their aunt has an opinion about the Bieber pics, one person we haven't heard from is Bieber himself. One, he's seen his penis before, so no big deal there. Two, if he didn't learn that everyone wants a piece of him after a Brazilian girl filmed him sleeping and slapped that video online, it's highly likely that he just doesn't care. He's been willingly on video smoking, drinking and engaging in other normal yet bad-boy-'cause-he's-a-celebrity behavior. How many down-to-the-pubic-bone shirtless pics had we already seen of him?
Though he's had his concerns about the bad-boy perception of him, he doesn't seem to mind attention. (And like any healthy 21-year-old man-child, he probably has quite the affinity for his own junk.)
Bieber may still be young, but he's a grown man and, contrary to what some haters may say, he's no dummy. There's even a wee bit of speculation out there that he knew exactly what he was doing...
Either way, though, just like in a court of law, each case has to be considered on its merit or lack thereof. No one should be blamed/shamed for being the victim of a crime (as, unfortunately, certain critics implied regarding J.Law, et al.) and Bieber shouldn't be judged if he expected one thing and got another or if he's fine being photographed naked.
And people, even celebrities, should ideally feel free to live their lives as if no one's watching. But they know all too well that that simply isn't the case.