Morrissey's Debut Novel Is About a Relay Racing Team Cursed By a Demon and No One Is Surprised

Is anyone surprised?

Morrissey: Misunderstood musician, pop star hater and now...published author.

Although really, no one should be surprised by the fact that the artist released a novel, because isn't that just so Morrissey of him? The book is titled List of the Lost (okay, then), and in the UK and a host of other countries today. It's pretty good timing, since he claims that he's retiring from music and all. It seems he's been working on the tome for a good two years, which could explain for some of his bizarre behavior as of late—he's simply been exhausted from all the book writin'.

But if you think the fact that he released a novel is fitting, just wait until you hear the description of the book. You can't make this stuff up.

The novel is about...wait for it...demons. Specifically, a relay running team that becomes inhabited by a demon. You see, these silly relay runners decided to kill a criminal (as you do), only there's a twist. The criminal was actually an incorporeal demon who curses each of the main characters! Who saw that coming?

Morrissey himself gave a little sneak peek of the book on his blog, and it's best described using his own words. 

"The theme is demonology," he writes. "The left-handed path of black magic. It is about a sports relay team in 1970s America who accidentally kill a wretch who, in esoteric language, might be known as a Fetch…a discarnate entity in physical form. He appears, though, as an omen of the immediate deaths of each member of the relay team. He is a life force of a devil incarnate, yet in his astral shell he is one phase removed from life. The wretch begins a banishing ritual of the four main characters, and therefore his own death at the beginning of the book is illusory."

Right, what he said. 

UK residents can pick up their copy of the book today, while Americans will have to wait until an undetermined date. How will we make it?