Snickers/YouTubeAs a great philosopher once said: "If you're not you when you're hungry, who are you?!"
By "great philosopher," we of course mean Snickers. The candy bar is changing up its wrapper game by offering 21 new labels that describe how people can act when they have an empty belly.
"We're always looking for new ways to engage our fans, who know and love our campaign," Allison Miazga-Bedrick, Snickers brand director, said in statement. "We believe the new bars will inspire people to not only quickly identify their own symptoms and satisfy their hunger, but give them a new, fun way to call-out friends and family on who they become when they're hungry, too."
So now Snickers can shade the hell out of people with their packaging and they are making it easier for friends and enemies to insult each other. Yeah, the sugary candy takes the edge off, but you're still being sassy with a side of nougat.
Here are the new Snickers labels that you'll soon be able to pass out to people you hate, love or love to hate:
Cranky
Grouchy
Confused
Irritable
Impatient
Complainer
Whiny
Curmudgeon
Ornery
Testy
Snippy.
Rebellious
Feisty
Sleepy
Loopy
Goofball
Forgetful
Drama Mama
Dramatic
Princess
Spacey
A few questions about these. What is the difference between "Drama Mama" and "Dramatic?" And be honest, someone just pulled all the synonyms Microsoft Word suggested for the word "cranky" for half of these, didn't they? Did Clippy the paper clip help you? Does Clippy still exist?!
Anyway, we love this idea, but we think Snickers skipped a few labels. Here are some suggestions for any future wrappers:
Hangry
Shady
The Worst
What's Good?
Donald Trump
Kind of Sweaty
Really Sweaty
Seriously, Why Are You So Sweaty?
Eats Entirely Too Loud
Invades Personal Space
Uses Too Many Hashtags
And finally, the meanest, cruelest candy bar wrapper you could ever hand to someone:
Not Beyoncé
No one wants to be reminded of that fact.