Ranking the Best Jokes From Andy Samberg's 2015 Emmys Monologue

Donald Trump, Kim Davis and True Detective all got some zingers from the Brooklyn Nine-Nine star

By Jenna Mullins Sep 21, 2015 12:56 AMTags
Andy Samberg, Emmy Awards 2015, ShowPhil McCarten/Invision for the Television Academy/AP Images

Host Andy Samberg kicked off the 2015 Emmys with an amazing taped musical performance about binge watching, but his zingers really came out in full force once he stepped onstage. From skewering Donald Trump and Kim Davis to calling out his beef with Amy Poehler, here are our favorite jokes from the Brooklyn Nine-Nine star, ranked:

E!

13. "The Emmys is about celebrating the best in the year in television so sorry books, Not tonight!" 

12. "There were some changes in how certain shows are classified this year. For example, Orange is the New Black is now technically a drama, while Louie is now technically jazz."

11. "It was announced that Arnold Schwarzenegger is taking over as the host of The Apprentice. Weird that he's not hosting To Catch a Predator. I mean, he's got the experience. The guy has killed so many predators. I guess he knows what he's doing."

E!

10. "As we all know, you can't have an awards show these days without some heated celebrity beefs. And tonight is no exception. Isn't that right, Amy [Poehler]?!"

9. "I'm Andy Samberg. Justin Timberlake is not coming. Now that we've put that to bed, what an exciting event, you guys!"

8. "The wage gap between men and women hired for major roles in Hollywood is still an issue. Wait a minute, I misread that. The age gap between men and women in Hollywood is a major issue. Wait. Both. Still both. So, crappy on two fronts."

E!

9. "I am honored to join the proud ranks of past Emmy hosts. Incredibly legendary people like…Robert Blake and Bill Cosby?! Oh, no I gotta get out of here!"

8. "Loving this futuristic set we got here. Not totally sure whether to host the Emmys or to try to get the sports almanac back from Biff."

7. "It's been a year of goodbyes. We said goodbye to Mad Men and Parks and Recreation. And we also said goodbye to True Detective, even though it's still on the air."

E!

6. "If your speech goes too long tonight instead of being played off by the orchestra, you're gonna have to deal with the mean nun from Game of Thrones."

5. "This is the most diverse group of nominees in Emmys history so congratulations Hollywood, you did it! Racism is over. Don't fact check that."

4. "Donald Trump, of course is running for president, to the delight of uncles everywhere. But I've gotta say, sure, Donald Trump seems racist….What else?"

E!

3. "Amy Schumer is nominated tonight. I got to say, Schumer is really, really funny, you know, for a person."

2. "Paula Deen is on this season of Dancing With the Stars. But I gotta say, if I wanted to see an intolerant lady dance, I would have gone to one of Kim Davis's four weddings."

1. "It's so ironic that [Kim Davis] came out of jail to ‘Eye of the Tiger' when you consider how many dudes have boned each other to that song."

Watch: Andy Samberg Spills Hosting Plans for 2015 Emmys

E!'s Emmy Awards coverage starts on Sunday at 4:30 p.m. ET/ 1:30 p.m. PT with Countdown to the Red Carpet, followed by Live From the Red Carpet at 6 p.m. ET/ 3 p.m. PT.

Plus, watch Fashion Police's 2015 Primetime Emmy Awards Special on Monday at 8 p.m., only on E!