Madonna, Guy Ritchie


Clearly, estranged Madonna hubby Guy Ritchie doesn't know he's English. He must have some kind of Connecticut WASP in him or something because every U.K. type worth his headlines knows you spill about what's buggin' you via your elegant pals, in this case, Guy's titled friends and fam, just like Princess Di did it when she wanted to get back at Charles.

How else are we supposed to find out that kissing Madonna was like smooching something akin to vegetarian beef jerky? ('Cause that's what we hear from friends of friends of G.R., but, baby, we need much more directly from the source, with exact quotes and far more details!).

However, here's the only thing I can add to this sad little bitching of mine: I also hear Guy's saving it all up for where it counts: court. Now, that's the way to do things Mr. R! Note to A-Rod: You might want to stay away from both sides of the pond in the next few months if you know what's good for your girlfriend's bank accounts.