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Cindy McCain


"You have no idea," piped a member of the McCain family, regarding the less than stellar activities first lady wannabe Cindy McCain has been up to, pre- and postelection, "nothing People would ever report, that's for sure."

The McCain relative was referring, of course, to the total kissass coverage the Time Inc. rag splashed all over the McCains when John was running for prez. But what People didn't include was the fact that Cindy very well may not have been stellar in the good-wife department, something the National Enquirer is now hot onto.

Gosh, check it out, fer sure! They have a pretty damning pic of a dude not by the name of John McCain gettin' all snuggly with a woman the Enquirer claims to be Mrs. McCain. And before you go squawking that the N.E. doesn't know diddly-butt, just keep in mind it was the only other publication also to complain about Dubya's off-the-wagon ways—other than the Awful Truth, of course.

"Much more will come out, now," added the McCain blood relative, "now that the campaign's over—because she is not a nice woman, and her own family hates her."

Gosh, strong stuff. Sounds like we've got the right first lady heading to Washington. But just think of the delish dirt we'd be witnessing at 1600 Penn! It'd make Monica Lewinsky look like a simple little indiscretion!