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Lou the Chihuahua, Barack Obama

E! Networks; James Devaney/Getty Images

President-elect Barack Obama’s declaration that he will be moving into the White House with a new puppy for his daughters Sasha and Malia has engendered massive media attention. What breed the dog will be, where the animal will come from and the need for it to be hypoallergenic are issues creating national intrigue.

“I can solve the whole thing for ’em, no problem,” stated Lou the Chihuahua to the Soup Blog. “Adopt me. I’ll move to D.C. and live in the White House. I’m willing to sacrifice for my country. Plus, I’m cute as hell. Those kids’ll love me.” As for the hypoallergenic problem, “I’ve never met a broad yet that was allergic to yours truly. Besides, they have pills for that.”  

When asked about scheduling his appearances on The Soup, Lou had this to say: “They have these things called jets nowadays, and I hear they go from coast to coast, pally. No big thing. My people tell me Barack reads this blog all the time, so listen up, B-man. Get those adoption papers drawn up. Yer boy Lou is ready to move in.”