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Amy Winehouse


With the supposed latest chapter in the tumultuous life of singer Amy Winehouse playing out—her estranged, substance-battling husband’s release from prison yesterday—Soup Blog reporters have discovered that the star is actually a fictional character featured in the BBC dramedy Amy: Drugs’n Such! now in its fifth season.  

“It’s quite something that the Yanks haven’t figured it out yet,” stated BBC exec Niles Boxton. “I mean, this bone-thin bird running round London dressed like a bloody mental patient with coke crust hangin’ off ‘er nose, trying to maintain a pop music career, in an out of rehab, junkie husband in the nick for pervertin’ the course'a justice...bloody great entertainment, but who could believe it?”

According to BBC sources, the Grammy-winning Winehouse character has been played by classically trained U.K. actress and vocalist Sandra Denholm, who lost some 30 pounds for the role. Her beehive-haired, increasingly weathered image has been featured in numerous tabloid photographs, YouTube videos and music promotions in the U.S., where no one really cares about British television. As to the show's future, “We’re not going to kill her off just yet,” revealed Boxton, “but you can only push the envelope so far, even in TV.”