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Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, SAG Awards, 2014

Ron Wolfson /Landov

This is divorce done right.

When Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck announced their breakup Tuesday, the Daredevil co-stars promised to end their 10-year marriage with dignity.

"After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time," the movie stars told E! News in a statement. "This will be our only comment on this private, family matter. Thank you for understanding."

As E! News reported Tuesday, the 13 Going on 30 actress, 43, and the Gone Girl actor, 42, had been in counseling for two years. "You can't simplify why a marriage breaks down," an insider says. "It's not one thing. It happens for many reasons."

Jennifer and Ben—parents to Violet Affleck, 9, Seraphina Affleck, 6, and Samuel Affleck, 3—"tried for two years to make their marriage work," the insider tells E! News exclusively, adding, "They finally realized that they just couldn't get there."

For their children's sake, divorce became necessary. "They were a great team as parents, but with each other, they didn't want the same things," the insider says. "After spending a lot of time figuring that out, they came to the decision that the best thing for them and for the children would be to make a change."

And, no matter what happens, their kids will always come first.

"Jen is a great mother and Ben is a great dad," the insider tells E! News.

Contrary to tabloid reports, Jennifer and Ben are not lawyering up to seek revenge. In fact, their divorce is anything but acrimonious. "They are keeping things out of the courts," says the insider, who notes that they want to give their children consistency above all else. Ben has moved out of the house, which "may not be the ideal situation for Ben and Jen, but it's the best for the kids, and that is their focus."

Previously, a source said that the two had hoped to work things out "because of the kids." Despite their best efforts, the source said they had been "been living separate lives and preparing for this for a long time." The actors were in a trial separation for 10 months, during which time Ben stayed at hotels. And though they have decided to split, they will continue to co-parent as equals, the source said.

Additionally, Ben will be living on the family's property in a different building.

As a source told E! News Tuesday, the split is "not contentious."