Do you enjoy the Internet? Then you must have a white penis—at least according to John Oliver.
The Last Week Tonight host gave a disparaging review of the world wide web on last night's show. His biggest problem? Going online is basically hell on Earth for women these days. Now he's quick to mention that there are a lot of good uses for the Internet out there, but that harassment is running rampant. And if you don't think it's actually that big of a problem....well, that's where the white penis thing comes in.
"If you have one of those, you probably have a very different experience on the Internet," the host said. "Women in particular can receive a cornucopia of horrifying messages."
He goes on to share some of the threats that have been issued—things like "I'm going to stick an egg in your vaginal canal and punch it." Sweet.
And then there's revenge porn: when naked photos of women are posted online without their consent. What's even worse, as Oliver points out, there's no federal law specifically against revenge porn. "Only 23 states have passed laws against revenge porn," he explained. "In the other 27 it's one of those things that should be explicitly illegal but isn't, like using a golf umbrella in Manhattan or returning from a semester abroad in Spain and calling it Barthelona." We think we can agree all three of those things are the worst.
The good news is that social media sites themselves are starting to come around. Twitter and Reddit have both banned revenge porn and Google just announced it would remove photos from search results on request. Which is great news, says Oliver, because not even the most evil Internet harassers will resort to using Bing. Zing!
In lieu of all the depressing information John threw at his audience, he decided to revamp an old AOL ad to provide a handy public service. Thanks John Oliver, you're the best.