The Berenstain Bears #TBT: Shotguns, Drug Kingpins and Other Controversial Life Lessons

After 40 years these bears have taught us a lot

By Sara Kitnick Jun 04, 2015 6:17 PMTags
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Did you know their last name is pronounced Bear-en-stain? Not Bern-stein? Some of us grew up under the impression it was the latter. Our world is shattered. These treehouse-living fictional bears have had over 40 years' worth of adventures and taught us a lot along the way.

Do you remember some of these more, um,  interesting life lessons?

1. Don't Bring Squirt Guns to School: Fifteen years ago, teachers at the Bear County school felt the media was to blame for violence amongst other bears. Mama Bear said, "I think guns are awful! I don't know why folks have to have them!" There were opposing views, as  Farmer Ben complained he needed his shotgun to protect his chickens. Teacher Bob gave his students an assignment: create an invention that has impacted bearkind. One of the bear students created a (squirt) gun, brought it to class and pulled it out on a student causing the SWAT team to invade the Bear County School. Don't bring black-shotgun-looking squirt guns to school. 

2. How to Skip PE: Sister Bear hated PE and saw that when her friend Lizzie broke her arm she didn't have to go. After school one day, Sister ran too fast, tripped over herself and some stones,  sprained her ankle, got an excuse note and didn't have to participate in class. Once her ankle was better, she asked Mama to write another excuse note but Mama said no.

3.  How to Be Entrepreneurial:  Whenever Brother or Sister would get some cash from Mama or Papa, they'd go spend it all on honeycomb at the mall. When they ran out of money, they'd open the bottom of their piggy banks and take the coins. Mama suggested an allowance but Papa said children should learn to earn their own money. So the cubs started a business selling their family secrets to locals who wanted know where they could find the best flowers. Papa of course got mad, but, after the cubs told him they were giving him all their money he was OK with it. 

4. The Phrase "Drug Kingpin": "Could it be the drug kingpin?" Huh? What's that? Well, after there is a Bear County meeting where Police Chief Bruno announced there was a drug problem within Bear County, all the cubs went on a drug hunt. In the end, we learned it was Too-Tall, a gang-member motorcycle-riding thief who was in possession.

5. You Can't Buy Love: Sister met a new cub named Queenie McBear who had a fancy bike and hoop earrings and bought everyone ice cream. Queenie was cool and everyone loved her. Queenie laughed at Sister because she still had a tricycle. Sister tried to learn how to ride a two-wheeled bicycle but couldn't do it and felt bad, so she decided to challenge Queenie to a double-dutch tournament. Everyone came to watch,  Sister won and was cheered by everyone.