John Oliver Believes the FIFA Investigation Will Make the World Love America—Watch Now!

"The whole world's opinion of America would change overnight," he says

By Francesca Bacardi Jun 01, 2015 6:45 PMTags

The investigation of FIFA officials might be considered by some to be long overdue, but thanks to the good ol' USA, soccer fans can witness justice being served.

That's right! The country that, according to John Oliver, cares the least about soccer has brought justice to the international league. But now the Last Week Tonight host wants the United States to take its investigation one step further: Going after FIFA president Sepp Blatter. Although a number of top officials were arrested in connection with corruption, the longstanding president remains untouched.

In fact, he was just re-elected to continue serving FIFA! Oliver, however, implored the U.S. Sunday night to uncover anything that would indict Blatter, who has left " a trail of devastation" in his wake.

"If America keeps driving this investigation and actually finds something to indict him, I don't think you understand how much that would mean to everyone on Earth," Oliver said during his broadcast. "The whole world's opinion of America would change overnight."

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The "devastation" that FIFA has left behind, Oliver noted, includes stadiums that were built solely for World Cups only to be abandoned after the tournament ended. The billions of dollars spent on constructing new stadiums in Brazil last year seems to have gone to waste, as now one is used to park coach buses.

"You have to give them credit," Oliver joked, "FIFA literally went into Brazil, paved paradise and put up a parking lot." He was referencing lyrics from Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi," which was later covered by the Counting Crows.

But to put how grateful the rest of the world would be into perspective, he said indicting Blatter would be the equivalent of the Dutch arresting Donald Trump. "You would think, 'Holy s--t, the Dutch are awesome!'" Oliver said. "That is what's on the table for you, America."

If America doesn't succeed, there is one other option: the sponsors. If major sponsors such as Budweiser, McDonald's or Adidas drops out, Oliver said he believed Blatter would be ousted. As a plea to these companies, Oliver promised to pretend to enjoy each of the company's products.

"I would even make the ultimate sacrifice," Oliver said. "Budweiser: If you pull your support and help get rid of Blatter, I will put my mouth where my mouth is and I will personally drink one of your disgusting items."