Universal StudiosAfter three epic Jurassic Park movies, we've learned one very important thing:
Dinosaurs are scary, you guys.
Jurassic Park, Lost World and Jurassic Park III are all science fiction movies, sure, but when you watch them, your heart rate and blood pressure tells you that you're watching a horror flick. So in honor of Jurassic World starring Stretching Chris Pratt, we're ranking the 11 scariest moments courtesy of the film franchise.
Spoiler alert: all the scenes involve dinosaurs. Though we are very frightened over the fact that Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) didn't end up together. Tragedy.
11. Spinosaurus vs. T. Rex, Jurassic Park III
We could go on a 5,000 word rant about how terrible this scene is just due to the fact that the King of Dinosaurs gets killed by a rando (because in what world does that happen?!), but the scene is still pretty intense when you're a bystander. Nobody wants to be collateral damage in a dino vs. dino fight.
10. Tyrannosaurus Rex takes on San Diego, Lost World
This one isn't as scary as it is just straight up horrifying because the dog dies. The dog almost never dies in disaster movies! Adults? Yeah. Kids? Why not! But pets? They usually survive and pop up at the last moment. Pour one out for Rover, who gets snacked on by the escaped T-Rex. This is why we can't have nice things!
9. Give her a hand, Jurassic Park
From terror to relief to agonizing horror in three seconds flat. Well done, Sam Jackson's hand.
8. T-Rex parents to the rescue, Lost World
It was not a good idea to get tangled up with a baby T-Rex, because the parents are here and they are pissssssed. What's worse than one T-Rex messing with you? Two of them.
7. Clever girl, Jurassic Park
Surely the Raptor guy is smart enough to take out the ones that are hunting down the humans, right? Not so much. At least they get a nice compliment before mauling his ass.
6. Spino in the water, Jurassic Park III
A hungry dinosaur hunting you is scary enough, but when you add the overwhelming sense of dread that comes with drowning, then the entire scene has an intensity level of 11. The fire, the rain…this scene is so over-the-top ridiculous…and we kind of love it for that reason.
5. Hello Newman, Jurassic Park
See, this is what happens when you cross John Hammond. A Dilophosaurus spits acid into your face and then eats you. Lesson learned.
4. "It's a birdcage," Jurassic Park III
The second Dr. Grant says that, we would have just dropped everything and yelled "f--k this s--t, I am OUT!" and just ran. Jurassic Park III had its flaws, but the atrium scene was not one of them. The atmosphere was so creepy and when the pterodactyl started walking through the mist? NOPE. Bye.
3. Raptors in the grass, Lost World
This is our personal favorite scene from Lost World, because there is something so eerie about not being able to see what's below you. Jaws, anyone? Now take the fear of Jaws, move it to the jungle and add raptors. Yikes.
2. T-Rex makes his debut, Jurassic Park
The King of Dinosaurs makes his debut by casually smashing a car with two kids trapped inside. Has there ever been a more amazing onscreen arrival than this one? The water glass, the flashlight to the eyeball...it still sends chills down our spines. And all these years later, we still get hives watching Mr. Rex trying to get to those kids as they hold up that glass. By the way, what's the glass made of? Mithril?
1. Raptors in the kitchen, Jurassic Park
Could there be any other moment at number one? There were raptors all up in the damn kitchen! Not only are these Velociraptors expertly stalking the poor kids, but they are talking to each other! Oh, and talking to each other in that creepy barking noise. Thanks for the nightmares, Spielberg. But at least now we know to never have doors with those kinds of handles because raptors apparently have zero problems operating them.
Plenty more scares are coming our way when Jurassic World hits theaters on June 12!
(E! and Universal Pictures are both part of the NBCUniversal family.)