Philip Seymour Hoffman's Life Partner Mimi O'Donnell Finally Breaks Silence on Actor's Death

Find out how the theater director is doing 15 months after Oscar winner's passing

Philip Seymour Hoffman's life partner Mimi O'Donnell is finally speaking out about the Oscar winner's death over 15 months after he tragically passed away from a heroin overdose.

In a new interview with The New York Times, O'Donnell reveals for the first time what she and their three kids went through after Hoffman's untimely passing.

"I was pretty stubborn in my falling apart," the 47-year-old theater director said. "And my kids saw all of it, because they should. What, am I going to hide it from them? I don't want them to hide it from me. And, even as the artistic director, there were times when I was like, ‘I can't do this right now, and I'm not going to pretend I can.'"

After Hoffman died, Hoffman took time off to mourn the 46-year-old actor's death with her family. O'Donnell says it was last summer's Sydney Theater Company production of The Maids at City Center starring Cate Blanchett that helped her feel semi-normal again.

"That was the first play that I saw after Phil had died, and she did that thing you want every actress in theater to do: she left her heart on the stage," O'Donnell said. "And I knew enough in that moment to go: ‘I love theater. I love it. I love what it can do.' And, not making a concrete decision, but knowing that I wasn't going to leave the theater company, I wasn't going to stop doing this."

"I go in feeling whatever I'm feeling about grief, and all of a sudden there's something onstage that's happening—it cracks something open," O'Donnell, who is currently working on her company's new play New Girl, added. "When they really, truly open up in front of you emotionally, there's something about it that I find humbling as a human being."

O'Donnell's friend and the artistic director of the Public Theater Oskar Eustis added, "It's extraordinary how well she's doing. She's had a year from hell, and it feels to me like part of the reason she's doing this is that it feels emotionally healthy for her to be doing something that Phil cared so much about. I'm sure, in a way, that's allowing her to stay connected to him."