Funny or DieCooking With Mariah is "extremely narrow," so bear with her.
On the eve of the beginning her Las Vegas residency, Mariah Carey popped up in a new Funny or Die video Wednesday in which she makes—what else?—a Frito Pie and wins the James Beard Award for Most Hair Flips in the Kitchen.
Asked why she was wearing surgical gloves while whipping up the down-home favorite (with her glittery butterfly ring over one glove, of course), she said frankly about cooking, "It's disgusting."
But was she inspired to make a Frito pie for any particular reason?
"Boy you acted so corny like Fritos" apparently was inspired by her real-life Italian lover named Frito. But he stole her car so...
"Sorry, I've got to fix my hair, I don't want to get it in the pie," Mariah backs away from the table.
"So he was kind of a jerk," she continues, "but you always want to gravitate to those guys, I don't know what it is about them."
"I used to date someone named Tostito, so..." her co-host Bryan Safi says. "It was a horrible relationship."
Overall, what we learned is that Mariah knows nothing about cooking.
But she has plenty of celebrity besties, so up pops Brett Ratner to taste the Frito pie, which by now has M&Ms in it.
The director doesn't seem to mind, though.
Of course, Frito himself shows up, too, as played by entertainer Jeff Beacher, and by then, Brian is losing it. Watch what happens when there gets to be one too many cooks in the kitchen.
"There's no beginning and there is no end," Mariah sighs with disgust, shaking her head. "This has been s--t."
Next time, maybe they'll try making lemons into lemonade.