Bruce Jenner Admits He Once Contemplated Suicide

He once thought of going "in the room, get a gun. Boom. You know? Pain's over. Done."

By Bruna Nessif Apr 25, 2015 2:46 AMTags
Bruce Jenner, Diane Sawyer InterviewABC

Bruce Jenner isn't holding anything back.

During his sit-down interview with Diane Sawyer, the 65-year-old confirmed that he is transitioning into woman and was very open about his journey thus far—including the extremely dark moments.

(At this time, Bruce Jenner has not chosen to publicly identify as a woman and so E! News will continue to refer to him as Bruce and use male pronouns, until he indicates otherwise.)

The former Olympian revealed that about a year and a half ago, he contemplated suicide. After a doctor's appointment Bruce made to get a trachial shave was leaked, he was greeted with paparazzi waiting for him at the office, and that was a very hard moment to come to face with.

"That night I thought, 'Oh, it's, like, over.' And I was in this, walking up and downthis hall right here, back and forth, back and forth all night long," Bruce told Sawyer.

"Heart's pounding. And I thought, wouldn't the easiest thing to be right now, and I could see where people get to that—is go in the room, get a gun. Boom. You know? Pain's over. Done. You know. Go to a better place and I thought, nah, I cant do something like that. I mean, I wanna know how this story ends."

At the top of the interview, Jenner confirmed that he's transitioning into a woman, telling Sawyer, "Yes, for all intents and purposes I am a woman. People look at me differently. They see you as this 'macho male,' but my heart and my soul and everything I do in life, it is part of me, that female side is part of me. It's who I am. I was not genetically born that way."

"As of now, I have all the male parts and all that kind of stuff, so in a lot of ways we're different, OK? But we still identify as female," Jenner continued. "And that's very hard for Bruce Jenner to say. 'Cause why? I don't want to disappoint people."

Learn more about what it means to be transgender at https://glaad.org/transgender

If you are transgender and need help or advice, contact the Trevor Project https://t.co/guMjyYIfng

PHOTOS: See Bruce Jenner through the years