Fashion's Fabbest Dresses Madge, Palin?

H'wood douchewear designer's show

Relax, folks, L.A. Fashion week is almost over, so Hell-Ay can soon ditch what New Yawk does better and go back to what it does best this time of year: paparazzi pumpkin brawls.

Clearly not satisfied by the overbooked blah that was Lauren Conrad's fashion flop, we checked out H'wood douchewear Ed Hardy helmer Christian Audigier's runway show "American Lord," tho' the Frenchman's style def seemed more Scot-inspired.

George Clooney's ex Sarah Larson—'member her?—opened and closed the show, tho' most style-gazers couldn't give an eff about her without Cloonz on her arm. Ditto that.

We had a little Q&A-fest with le grand dude, and Chrissy was so completely full of himself, his ego was oozing out of all his major orifices. But that's the major requirement for being a fashion designer, so we wouldn't want him any other way, trust. Can you imagine a designer having humility? We can't!

Awful Truth: What sets your fashion collection apart from the rest?

Christian Audigier: I believe we are just the best in Los Angeles. They all come. They all wear it. It is a better collection than ever. It's always better and bigger. I can't tell you. You just need to see.

AT: What does L.A. Fashion week have that New York doesn't?

CA: It doesn't have me.

AT: Is there any celeb you don't want being seen wearing your duds?

CA: Oh no. I see basically everybody wearing my clothes. So I'm pleased with most of them.

AT: So who's the best- and worst-dressed in H'wood?

CA: Best-dressed is mine, the worst-dressed is the rest. Them I don't do.

AT: If McCain and Palin, God help us all, wind up in the White House, how would you design Cindy and Sarah's DeeCee getup?

CA: [Laughs] Oh no—it's not gonna happen!

AT: What would you design for the newly single cougarific Madonna?

CA: I don't need to tell her what I gonna design for her, because she basically take every single clothes and she wear all my clothes every day.

AT: If the Devil wears Prada in New York, what's the Devil wearing in L.A.?

CA: They are going to wear Christian Audigier!

Pretty friggin' predictable, but Aud-hon's adorable accent makes for a fun read, n'est-ce pas?

—Additional sass by Taryn Ryder and Becky Bain