Jumping over couches? Yes. Falling off cliffs? No way.
Just in case there were any fans out there who heard, let alone believed, the rampant online reports one poorly executed, recycled report claiming that Tom Cruise fell to his death in New Zealand Wednesday morning, the actor's reps are here to set the record straight.
"This is completely not true," Cruise's publicist Jeff Raymond told E! News. "Tom is not in New Zealand nor has he been there recently. This is erroneous and unreliable Internet garbage."
It's also unoriginal.
The short-on-details report claimed that Cruise plunged more than 60 feet to his death from the Kauri Cliffs while shooting a film yesterday morning—nearly the exact same nonfate that befell Tom Hanks back in 2006.
While it so far has avoided culpability this time around, Hanks' phony-plunge story was later attributed to fakeawish.com, a site that serves as a fake news generator and allows users to plug a celebrity's name into made-up stories.
As it stands, the top option on the site today is to plug a male celebrity's name into a "dies in New Zealand" article.
Suffice it to say, the reports of Cruise's death have been greatly exaggerated.
Meanwhile, Cruise, in all his living and breathing glory, is expected to lead the slew of A-list attendees set to descend on Broadway this evening, when Katie Holmes makes her opening night debut in All My Sons.
—Additional reporting by Whitney English