Some two decades ago, a rumor began that was as shocking as it was bizarre: Heartthrob actor Richard Gere had gone to an emergency room with a gerbil stuffed into his rectum, supposedly an extreme form of gay sex. Gere denied the absurd accusation, then kept mum in hopes that it would die out, which it eventually did.
Now, for some reason, the actor himself has commented on the incident, telling an interviewer, “I stopped reading the press a long time ago. Lots of crazy things came up about me at first...There is an infamous ‘Gere stuck a [gerbil] up his bum’ urban myth.”
Yet Gere was not the only one affected by the story; Soup Blog reporters have located the gerbil that was allegedly lodged in the noted humanitarian’s rear end. Currently living in the Abernathy household in El Segundo, Calif., Mr. Twiddles has finally broken his silence.
“I thought all of this was behind me, and now Gere has to reignite the whole thing,” stated the miffed Twiddles, pausing from his thrice-daily workout on the wheel in the spacious cage he shares with two other gerbils, Frankenstein and Pink Suzie. “I’ve never even met the man,” added the aging gerbil, “let alone been stuffed up his arse. Now for God's sake, leave me alone and let me tongue my salt lick in peace."