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Gwyneth Paltrow Cooking

Ida Mae Astute/ABC via Getty Images

Yesterday Gwyneth Paltrow made some slightly controversial remarks. During an interview with CNNMoney yesterday, she addressed the oft-discussed disparity between things that Goop recommends and what is actually possible for real women. 

"I'm incredibly close to the common woman," she said. "In that I'm a woman and I'm a mother and we all are in a physical body with beating hearts with compassion and love we are all seekers." Now, naturally, the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow, she of the constant luxury vacations and $50 vagina steams, has anything in common with people like us is a bit hard to take. We do believe that she made this comment with completely good intentions, but it's been ruffling a few feathers nonetheless. 

Now, since are truth seekers to the very core, we decided to investigate this comment (and its backlash) in the fairest way possible. Since Gwyneth believes that Goop is actually very accessible, and the common woman believes that Goop is actually very inaccessible, we are going to do a deep dive into Goop-ville—we've picked through every item for sale and every trip/restaurant/beauty treatment recommendation to settle this once and for all.

To the vagina steams!

Point Gwyneth: This $12 chapstick. Everybody's lips get chapped, everybody needs chapstick. We are all one!

Point Common Woman: This $200 shark keychain. No, Stella McCartney, no.

Point Gwyneth: This pair of sunglasses. Yes, $200 is kind of a lot, but sunglasses are items that deserve to be splurged on, and she actually chose something reasonable.

Point Common Woman: This $2,200 "ear jacket." No woman anywhere needs a jacket for her ear, never mind one that costs more than a mortgage.

Point Gwyneth: These Frame Denim jeans. Again, they're a splurge, but at $185 they are a reasonable splurge, especially for high end jeans. Plus, no one is coming to Goop looking for Forever 21 pants.

Point Common Woman: This $750 gray sack tank dress. Close to $1,000 for a shapeless tank top that someone forgot to hem? Check, please.


Point Gwyneth: The article Foreign TV Shows to Binge Watch Now is completely inoffensive. Everybody loves watching TV, and shows like The Honourable Woman and Top of the Lake are totally great and non-pretentious. Plus, we like the idea of imagining GP killing a hangover with Netflix.

Point Common Woman: Gwyneth's late-winter reading list includes titles like Women, Food and Desire: Embrace Your Cravings, Make Peace with Food, Reclaim Your Body. Say it with us now: "That's soooo Gwyneth."

Point Gwyneth: There is a full article dedicated to different egg-cooking techniques. This is kind of genius, since cooking eggs is both way harder than it seems and something that pretty much everyone does. 

Point Common Woman: The annual Goop Detox. Ain't nobody doing a $400 "gut cleanse," girl. 

Point Common Woman: Anything about sex bark or spirit truffles. We can really nerd out on the hippie dippie natural remedies, but we know there are plenty of people out there going, "WTF?"

Point Common Woman: This black flats story. With only one pair of shoes that costs less than your average rent payment, it's not exactly attainable.

Point Common Woman: This list of great trips to take with friends is, erm, pricey? Out of touch? Unless we're the only ones who consider jetting off to the Four Seasons Punta Mita, a privately owned island or a villa in Bali to be a bit of a splurge. 

So, there you have it. It was a close race, but in the end we have to give this to the common woman. GP really does try to be in touch with the masses, but falls a wee bit short. But, can we really fault her for being just so perfect and magical that it's physically impossible for her to dumb herself down? No, no we cannot.