Update!

Nicholas Brendon Talks Arrest, Depression and Childhood Sexual Abuse: It's Time to "Start Dealing" With the Effects

"I hate the way I feel right now...This isn't who I am," says Buffy the Vampire Slayer star, who plans to see his doctor to get "back on the proper medicine"

By Rebecca Macatee Mar 17, 2015 11:04 PMTags
Nicholas BrendonAraya Diaz/Getty Images for Ms. In The Biz

UPDATE: On Wednesday, Brendon's rep released the following statement: "Nicholas is battling a disease. He has been suffering from a lifelong desolation due to childhood trauma and he is finally coming to terms with what happened and where he sees himself in the future. This is the first time in his adult life that he is able to admit his troubles publicly, and he wants to do so while seeking the treatment that is best for him. This goes beyond a few months in a rehabilitation center, or a quick dose of anti depressants- Nicholas' struggle will go on for years, but he has a strong support system behind him that will guide him through the uphill battle that is chronic depression.
 
"This past weekend's chain of events was a cry for help. While it's been depicted that Nicholas is a raging alcoholic with an anger problem, that is not the case. In the coming months, as Nicholas seeks treatment and speaks out about his demons, we are hoping to clear up any misconceptions about his character and his illness. Nicholas has sought legal and medical counsel to guide him...Comic book conventions, despite reports, are not a catalyst. To him, they are a form of therapy- a way for him to connect with his fans and find the happiness he so desperately seeks. While attendees enjoy a vast array of parties and entertainment, celebrity guests see this as an enjoyable, contractual obligation and a part of the actors' career experience. Nicholas' fans are some of the most supportive, incredible, and caring men and women on the planet- and he loves nothing more than to bring a smile to their faces. While his actions may have seemed like the opposite over the past several months, this is a man who is struggling to keep afloat after a year filled with many personal struggles. For anyone who has battled depression, it's no laughing matter- and not every day is going to be easy.
 
"1 in 6 men have experienced abusive sexual experiences before the age of 18. Men who have these experiences are at much greater risk of depression, alcohol/drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, etc. Nicholas wants to shed light on these statistics while seeking solace in his life."
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Nicholas Brendon was arrested Friday for the third time in five months. He allegedly trashed a hotel room (again) and was accused of causing between $200 and $1,000 of damage to the property.

Shortly after posting bail and being released from a Tallahassee jail on Saturday, the former Buffy the Vampire Slayer star, 43, spoke to the Tallahassee Democrat about his personal struggles with depression stemming from sexual abuse he endured as a child.

"I've been dealing with depression for a while now, since I was a kid," he began. "I stopped taking my meds a while ago, which was a mistake, and it culminated yesterday into my taking some sleeping pills and then going into a blackout. But a lot of it has to do with my coming to terms with the stuff that I'm having to deal with inside of my head which is not fun, and it's not funny, and people who make fun of it and make light of it, I wish that it doesn't happen to them. But, you know, it's something I'm struggling with. I need to go back to my doctor and talk to him, and try and kind of corral it."

The actor, who is due back in court March 30, is taking responsibility for his health. "It's up to me to take care of seeing my doctor again and getting back on the proper medicine," he said, "and not cheating myself, because I hate this...I hate the way I feel right now. I hate how I've come off. This isn't who I am."

For the first time, Brendan opened up about the childhood trauma that he says still impacts him today. "This isn't an excuse for anything, but when I was a kid I was molested for two years by a teacher, and that's never been talked about anywhere, and from that moment, my life changed immensely," he told the Tallahassee Democrat. "I haven't talked about it because I didn't want to use it as a crutch, but I'm seeing as I get older that it did have a huge, huge effect on me."

He spoke to TMZ about the abuse as well, saying, "If something good can come out of this, if I can talk about it and help people out, and change my behavior, that'd be great."

"My family knew about it, obviously," he said. "The guy who molested me went to jail when I was a kid for about five years, and I just—I've never really kind of wrapped my mind around that, and I think it's time to start."

"I think it's time for me to start dealing with that—dealing with the symptom of it," he went on, "and stop being, well, a jerk about it."

-Additional reporting by Holly Passalaqua

(Originally published March 17, 2015 at 10:04 a.m. PT)