In the Closet: The Madden Bros.

Joel and Benji Madden make style mistakes

Take a look, ladies—these two men are the suitors for two of the most famous women in the world. (Or at least in Hell-Ay.) They coulda picked, or bought, pretty much anyone, but tattooed rock brothers Benji and Joel Madden won the golden-haired tickets. We actually think B&JM are teddy-bear cute, just not in this crap they're wearing at the Diesel xXx Rock 'n' Roll Circus in Brooklyn.

We're so not feeling the weirdly groomed beard Joel's growing, just like we're hating on his giant-faced shirt. Who's that s'posed to be, anyway? Kinda resembles Dwight from The Office, no?

At least Benj is back to covering up his bald spot, good thinkin', and his black Obama T from his own DCMA clothing line is at least topical, if boring. The worst offense, clearly, is wearing sunglasses at night. You guys don't seem like d-bags, so why dress like one?

We do love the twins' matching shoes, tho'. Their parents prolly dressed them in coordinated outfits back when they were tots. Maybe they should still dress them. Couldn't do any worse.

—With additional sass by Becky Bain