If you're not a football fan, you probably missed the hullabaloo on Tuesday, which was the first day of NFL free agency. And the first day is full of two things: high-profile trades all across the league and rumors, rumors, rumors.
Houston Texans star and awesome human being J.J. Watt decided to have some fun with the insanity of all the NFL madness by "reporting" on some of the biggest and most shocking trades in the history of sports.
Of course, these trades involved your favorite characters from the best sports movies from the '90s, which made us wish there was actually a national league for fictional athletes. We'd watch the s--t out of that.
Characters from The Mighty Ducks, The Sandlot, Friday Night Lights (not the '90s but still necessary to the list) and Waterboy were all apparently being traded to different teams, different sports and sometimes to entirely different time periods. And most importantly: where did Air Bud go?! Watt, Washington Nationals' Bryce Harper, Atlanta Falcons' T.J. Yates and Chicago Bears' Kyle Long have the scoop. Sort of:
SOURCES: 3-team, 3-sport trade. Adam Banks to T.C. Williams Titans, Henry Rowengartner to Mighty Ducks, Julius Cambell to Chicago Cubs.
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 10, 2015I'm also hearing from sources that there are talks of a two-team swap for Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez and Jesus Shuttlesworth.
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 10, 2015@Bharper3407 I'm told from someone close to Portman & Reed that they refuse to split the Bash Brothers so Kenny Wu would have to be involved
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 10, 2015@TJ_Yates I've been told that Vaughn has been cut to make room to sign Air Bud. Sources say that Uncle Rico will attend the 2016 NFL Combine
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 10, 2015@TJ_Yates that's big news if confirmed. Also hearing from sources that Boobie Miles and Tim Riggins will also be attending.
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 10, 2015@Ky1eLong Air Bud has already been dealt. I'm told Bobby Boucher and "Icebox" are both on the trading block, for teams needing a LB/FB type
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 10, 2015@RealPeterson21 Goldberg got the Franchise Tag early in the offseason, he's not going anywhere. The Ducks want Louie Lastik as his backup.
? JJ Watt (@JJWatt) March 11, 2015Speaking of these sports characters, did anyone else have a real sexual awakening after watching Benny in The Sandlot? For a lot of '90s kids, that movie was the first time we realized the boys are not so yucky after all. #BennytheJet4Ever