Heroic Man Attempts to Figure Out How to Say Hello to Women, Only Kind of Succeeds

He's got science on his side!

By Seija Rankin Mar 10, 2015 10:59 PMTags

We should all praise this fearless man. He forgot how to say hello to women, and now he is on an intrepid journey to remember.

As YouTube personality and comedian Robbie Sherrard points out, talking to women is hard and intimidating. And it's hard to escape them—women are everywhere! One minute you're innocently waiting in line for a latte at your local coffee shop, the next you're kicking yourself for giving a creepy magician's finger wave to the cute girl by the Splenda.

Never mind trying to actually start a conversation with a pretty lady, because it's tricky enough just to know how to say hello. Man-to-man greetings have all sorts of options: handshakes, pounds, chin nodding, hugging among them. For obvious reasons, Robbie isn't comfortable using any of those actions with women (said obvious reason being the danger of erections). So, to take into consideration all of the conditions and rules that determine the most appropriate greeting, he decided to make a (only kind of) handy chart—and a YouTube tutorial to go along.

Ever the scientific genius, Robbie breaks it down into categories that cover every possible scenario for meeting a woman. You can select how long you've known the woman, what kind of environment you're meeting in, and what your relationship is to the woman. Simply follow the color coding to decide on a hug, handshake, kiss or verbal hello. 

Of course, no one will actually be able to bring this chart into the bar/restaurant/meeting space, but it shouldn't take more than a few weeks to memorize the whole thing. That's but a small task in comparison to the value of never embarassing yourself again.

We thank you, Robbie, for having the courage to change the world.