Mischa Barton, Mugshot

• Mischa Barton will accept a plea deal in her DUI case on Thursday to avoid any jail time. Because that 82 minutes buddy Nicole Richie endured was such a killer?

Frenchie from Rock of Love 2 is selling herself on eBay for $2,500. Bidder must provide a round-trip ticket from Vegas and all other amenities. Except one: In case of water landing, she’s already got the flotation devices. (A fake-boob joke. Yeah, it's that kind of day.)

Paris Hilton reportedly inquired about purchasing a cheetah while she was in Africa, but she didn’t ultimately buy one. Wait. She wanted to buy a sharp-toothed wild animal capable of tearing her to shreds in a few gleeful seconds—and someone discouraged it?

The release of Tom Cruise’s Nazi movie has been pushed back a third time. The studio is now looking at a 2009 release date—or as soon as Katie gets knocked up with twins.

Oprah earned $260 million last year. Think she makes Gayle hide wads of cash under her chairs for Oprah to “find” from time to time?

Fergie is not pregnant, but if she were, she says she’d ask Gwen Stefani for parenting advice. While you’re at it, Ms. Lady Lumps, mind asking Gwen for some singing/songwriting advice? Please?!