Steve Granitz/WireImage.com• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were (gasp!) married on Saturday in a secret ceremony in the French Quarter…
• Except that they weren’t.
• Safe-sex advocates welcome news that Johnny Depp has been offered $10 million to shill Trojan condoms, saying, “We’d welcome seeing a major Hollywood star helping to promote the cause. And there’s no one bigger than Johnny.” Guess he’ll rep the Magnum line.
• Heath Ledger’s estranged uncles are at it again. One claims the late actor fathered a love child when he was 17, furthering the rift between family members—and making it clear to us why the guy might choose to live a million miles from home.
• Gwen Stefani blogs that she’s excited to be recording No Doubt's new album “with the boys.” Seeing how “the boys” haven’t had a good gig since 2003, we’re guessing they’re pretty excited too.
• Madonna tells Yo on E! that the media needs to back off Britney Spears. "They need to step off," she says, with the little voice in her head silently adding, "and pay more attention to me."