A Breakdown of Ed Sheeran's Post-Brit Awards Celebration, in Imaginary Thoughts

He partied way too hard

By Seija Rankin Feb 26, 2015 7:47 PMTags
Ed Sheeran, BRIT AwardsDavid M. Benett/Getty Images

Everybody, this is Ed Sheeran. He's a singer, songwriter, quirky Brit, and second place finisher in the Taylor Swift BFF Bracket Challenge. He is also a man suffering from what has to be the worst hangover in history today. 

And just how do we know this? Because he had, hands-down, the biggest party of his life last night. After winning two Brit Awards (for British Male Solo Artist and British Album of the Year), he turned up. And not just medium level turnt, he went full-on turnt. 2015 has already been a banner year for Sheeran, and nobody was going to stand in the way of him celebrating with his best friend: liquor.

The ultimate celebraish went down at an after-party at London's Freemason Hall, hosted by Warner Music Group (Sheeran's label). Well, for Ed it actually got started a little earlier than that—in his car on the way over and in the parking lot outside the club, to be exact. Sheer-Dog kicked things off with champagne and what our semi-professional drinking eye deems to be a handful of Coronas. He then headed inside where he hob-knobbed and did tequila shots (probably) with the likes of Charli XCX, Mark Ronson, Karlie Kloss, FKA Twigs, and Robert Pattinson. Things only escalated from there. 

Below, find Sheeran's (imaginary) photo diary of the night accompanied by the (imaginary) thoughts (probably) running through his head. 

Mark Robert Milan/GC Images

"Blimey, that was a great awards show. I'm gonna start slow tonight, just a bit of bubbly to toast my winnings and maybe a cheeky beer or two. I've been on a bit of a bender this awards season. I'm so glad I've got this bloke here to hold all my extra beers. Being famous is cool."

David M. Benett/Getty Images

"'Scuse me, coming through. Just trying to get to the bar for some tequila. This is my last go-round, I promise. I've really gotta call it a night soon."

David M. Benett/Getty Images

"Oh snap. That DJ did not just drop that sick Taylor Swift jam. I was gonna go home, but now I'm just gonna get my dance on. For some reason, whenever T.Swift comes on, my arms and legs move around as if independent from my body."

Paul Hampartsoumian/Rex/REX USA

"God, I f--king love 'Blank Space.' Back off, Rita Ora, I'm in my groove and this mic is hot. 'So it's gonna be forever, or it's gonna go down in flaaaames...'"

Mark Robert Milan/GC Images

"I dn't know y tis man iz currying me I'z can walks all by's meeself. Me swears me dn't efen drunks that much tikilla. Who wunts ta orfer dominoezzzz?"

Ada/GC Images

"Dat's kewl, you's guyz get da za I's wait hurr and try not to frow up."