Steve Granitz/WireImage.com• Angelina Jolie's brother, James Haven, decided it was his place to weigh in on Angie’s no-show status at the Oscars, saying she probably canceled "out of respect for Jennifer Aniston." Thanks, James. We could have gotten that same level of insight from our hairdresser. And did.
• Speaking of unrevelatory revelations, Heather Mills' dad recently called Paul McCartney's ex-wife "greedy" for not taking the multimillion-dollar settlement Paul initially offered. Good thing he said something, or we’d have had no idea that the woman who married a Beatle without a prenup might be in it for the cash.
• Britney Spears’ father will remain her coconservator until July 31, at which time we guess she’ll shave her eyebrows, hot-wire a Harley, head to Vegas and put it all on black.
• Katherine Heigl is beautiful, stylish and quickly becoming a household name. So, it’s only fitting that she should become the celebrity spokesperson for medical scrubs, right? Now, at long last, we finally get to see them!
• Another celeb rocking some unexpected accessories is Joel Madden. Nicole Richie’s baby daddy reportedly has cataracts, a disorder that causes blurred vision and can lead to blindness. This, according to Star Magazine, is why he wears shades indoors. And here we thought it was to avoid meeting Nicole’s bug-eyes.
• Scrubs stars Sarah Chalke and Zach Braff have their panties in a bunch—literally. The adorable sitcom docs are reportedly shooting commercials for Hanes No Ride-Up Panties, featuring Chalke trying to get the underwear out of her butt throughout her day. Maybe there’s something wrong with us, but we can’t wait to see Chalke with a wedgie.