ODuran/Fame Pictures• A bitty Caped Crusader upstaged Brooklyn Beckham on his big day. As if it wasn't bad enough that daddy David Beckham missed out on Brooklyn’s ninth, the poor birthday boy had to go to The Spiderwick Chronicles with his ridiculously cute little brother Cruz, who was dressed as Batman. Holy diversion, Batman! This was supposed to be my day!
• The party is over for Britney Spears. Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been asked to replace Spears as hostess of a Scandinavian Style Mansion gala next week in L.A. Apparently, “locked up for mental evaluation” is Nordic for “more trouble than it’s worth.”
• At least Britney has been getting rave reviews...from the tiny dancers at the Millennium Dance Complex where she has been teaching. Know what they say: Those who can do. Those who have pissed away a multimillion-dollar career through painfully bad decisions teach.
• Someone has been threatening Harry Potter—and it ain’t Voldemort. Daniel Radcliffe is reportedly being protected by four bodyguards after receiving death threats on the set of The Deathly Hallows. Why do we think Radcliffe is as ready to say goodbye to Harry Potter as we are?
• Following Lindsay's successful (kinda) rehab love connection, Kirsten Dunst has reportedly met a hunky junkie of her own at the same facility, Cirque Lodge! Is rehab the new JDate?
• The one celeb who has a sane attitude about parenthood in this bumptastic town is … Mariah Carey? Mariah tells Yo on E! “It’s hard enough to have a puppy.” Okay, when Mariah is the voice of reason, it’s time to stock up the bomb shelter and load the stun gun.