Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMA Press• In case you've somehow managed to avoid the biggest news of the century, Jennifer Lopez has finally given birth to those twins she's been lugging around. Congrats from us and Salma Hayek, who is adamant the diva will "be a wonderful mother."
• Stay away from the Hanson brothers, they have the most powerful sperm ever. Another one has a pregnant wife.
• Eminem is planning to write a tell-all memoir. We thought that's what he did with 8 Mile...how many times are we going to have to hear this dude's story?
• Sam Lutfi's restraining order has been extended to Mar. 17. Aw, who will Britney celebrate St. Patrick's Day with now?
• Remember when Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan were fighting over Aaron Carter? Yeah, those were the good old days. Now, he's back in the news for getting arrested for marijuana possession after being pulled over for speeding in Texas.
• Amy Winehouse trashed the hotel room she had been living in the last couple of weeks, causing $6,000 in damage. There were "countless bottles of champagne and unwashed knickers were all over the floor." As long as there was no drug paraphernalia, this is all okay by us.