Alexandra Wyman/WireImage.com• With all the Britney hullabaloo, we forgot about yesterday's biggest tragedy: Katherine Heigl's car was broken into and her GPS stolen. Don't worry, she still has her cigs and wedding ring.
• It's hard to tell by his lame appearances on The Hills, but Brody Jenner is really cool. Like Fonzie cool. He travels with a pack of 12 dudes who follow him out of parties when he snaps his fingers and says, "I'm out." Yeah, girls totally want to make out with that.
• Cher has signed on to fill the black hole left by Celine Dion's Las Vegas exit. She will perform a "visually unbelievable" show at Caesars Palace over the next three years. We knew she couldn't stay away from us that long.
• We were worried we would be unable to spot and mock the poor souls who buy Paris Hilton's shoes, but now she has informed us the soles will be pink. That's right, Paris patrons, you've been marked—there's no saying what might happen if we run into you.
• Heath Ledger's SoHo apartment is being quietly shopped around for $25,000 a month. As one broker explains: "You don't wait around in a hot rental market like this." Uh...so do not want.