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Christian who?

With all this Fifty Shades of Whoever business going around, the good people at Starz felt it was a good time to remind us all about Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe of Outlander... a k a the sexiest couple on TV, who are about to give viewers some epic and insanely romantic SEXYTIME when the time-travel-thriller-romance series returns April 4.

Below, we have your exclusive first look at the new Outlander trailer that will be playing in theaters before screenings of Fifty Shades of Grey across the country this weekend. 

And the video at the very top of this post? You see it up there? Well, we even got our hands on nearly a full minute of a Jaime and Claire sex scene from Outlander's first episode back, which just might be (spoiler alert!) the raciest and longest sex scene that has ever aired on television. That, dear friends, is not an oversell.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

Make sure the kiddies aren't watching and press play above and below!

Outlander's "Droughtlander"—the wait for new episodes—will officially come to an end on April 4. And for you who want to catch up, the first eight episodes can be purchased on iTunes! Plenty of time to get on board for this incredible series produced by Ronald D. Moore (Battlestar Galactica) and based on the book series by Diana Gabaldon that is so much more than just the gripping romance (though it is gripping). The genius plot twists, exquisite acting and gorgeous cinematography make Outlander truly one of the best TV shows not just currently on the air, but of all time. Yeah, you read that right. Get on board already!

Also, fans: Mark your calendars for March 12. I will be moderating the Outlander night of Paley Fest, and you can send any questions you have for the cast and producers to me @kristindsantos on Twitter, or my Facebook page, or Instagram! (Make sure to follow me for updates...If Sam Heughan has an itch on his adorable nose, you will hear it here first. #SeriousJournalism #Priorities)

Together, we just might survive this Droughtlander together, guys. Stay strong.

If you are Outside of the US, change your origin to US to see the videos, and then feel free to watch them on repeat. 

For more on Outlander, watch tonight's E! News at 7 & 11 pm!