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Ellen DeGeneres shut down hate with humor.

In Wednesday's monologue, The Ellen DeGeneres Show host and 24-time Daytime Emmy Award winner responded to Larry Tomczak, an author and self-proclaimed "cultural commentator," six days after The Christian Post's published his article, "Are You Aware of the Avalanche of Gay Programming Assaulting Your Home?" DeGeneres, 56, doesn't "usually read anything" about herself, she said. "I don't look at the tabloids or the internet. Unless it's about me being pregnant and then how else would I know? Got to find out. But I heard there was an article written about me and I would like to address it right now."

Tomcazk accused Hollywood of having a gay agenda and argued that DeGeneres "celebrates her lesbianism and 'marriage' in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls."

"OK, let's just break this down. First of all, I'm not 'married,'" Portia De Rossi's wife corrected him while using air quotes. "I'm married. That's all. And, Larry, I don't even know what it means to celebrate my lesbianism. I mean...Well, I guess I do," DeGeneres said, using an air popper. "Like that! Yay! I'm gay!"

"In the article, the pastor criticizes a lot of TV shows for promoting gay agendas," DeGeneres continued. "He says that Glee has over five characters. Modern Family had a gay wedding. Anderson Cooper boasts about his homosexuality. If you ask me, Larry is watching a lot of gay TV. His solution is for parents to encourage their kids to watch classic TV shows like Little House on the Prairie and I Love Lucy. It's not like I Love Lucy is a great example for kids! She's shoving all that chocolate in her mouth! That's not good for kids. And then I did some research, and if you don't think Lucy and Ethel had something going on, explain this," she said as a picture of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance appeared on the screen behind her.

"If that's not gay...That's all us gays do," DeGeneres joked. "We get a garbage can lid..."

Ellen DeGeneres

Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

On a more serious note, the comic explained, "The only way I'm trying to influence people is to be more kind and compassionate with one another. That is the message I'm sending out. I don't have an agenda."

"I'm not here to brainwash anyone," she added. "But..."

While holding a spinning vortex, she said, "Listen to the sound of my voice. Attention youth of the world: I want you to live your lives being exactly who you are. Be true to yourself—the most important thing is to be true to yourself. The second most important thing is that you wear Ellen underwear and only Ellen underwear." DeGeneres smiled and instructed her viewers to "look into my vortex and dance with me."